Adam and Hoss entered the Lucky Saloon, thirsty from their day of viewing cattle. Adam had always thought of this place as the first saloon he’d ever had a drink in. Even if the drink had been in secret, up on the landing behind the stair banister.

He glanced up there now, remembering that hot night he and Jessica had spent seeing the town of Tucson. He still remembered her sweet features and shining smile.  He’d never told Hoss about Jessica. It’d all happened when he was still a teenager, after all.

She’d been a brave girl, and he wished again with regret that he could have prevented what happened to her. Adam had grown up a lot during that time. He walked to the bar and ordered a whiskey. Hoss looked at him, a little surprised.

“Whisky, brother? You plannin’ on a big night?”

“No, I guess not. Give me a beer, instead.”

The bar tender pulled the beers, which they picked up and took to one of the tables.

“This place hasn’t changed over the years.” Adam looked around the room. It seemed exactly as he remembered it.

“I don’t remember ever being in this part of town before. How come you know it?”

“Oh, I came here once, years ago, before you were old enough to appreciate beer.” He smiled at his brother and sipped the liquid.

“Boy, I don’t remember back that far,” Hoss joked and swallowed a good portion of his drink.

Adam sat back in the chair, remembering that night, when Jessica told him about the people in the saloon and their stories. He’d often wondered what had happened to her, but after leaving Tucson, she had never contacted him again.

At the time it shattered him. He’d waited for her letters, letters that never arrived. Jessica had been his first love. Not in the physical sense, but in the way you imagined love to be when you were a teenager.

Jessica had been beautiful and untainted. He recalled their innocent kisses and talk of their futures. Then everything went horribly wrong.

“Adam, you listening to me?” Hoss’s voice suddenly broke his chain of thought.

“Sorry Hoss, I was thinking.”

“Hmm, maybe you should do a little less of that sometimes. I think it affects your brain.”

Adam smiled at him.

“Well, what did you say.”

“I said, how about we get all gussied up tonight and hit the town proper. We haven’t had a night out the whole trip. And I guess after that unpleasantness with that woman back home, you might be ready for some fun.”

Hoss read his brother pretty well. He knew Adam took things too seriously a lot of the time. He personally took it as his job to ensure his brother got a balance in his life.

“Yeah, I guess. Let’s get back to the hotel and get changed.”

“Great.” They both got up and moved to the door. Adam turned as they left, taking one last look inside the Lucky Saloon. He had a feeling that tonight was going to be full of memories.
 

Adam looked out the window of his hotel room. As luck would have it, it was the same room he’d occupied twelve years ago when he traveled to Tucson with his father. The furniture was new and the walls were freshly painted, but he chuckled as the window shutter was still hard to open.

After a shove, it gave way and Adam looked out over the street below. Some buildings were new, some looked a lot older, but down the street was still the most interesting building in the city: The Bird Cage Theater.

It was alive with activity even at this early hour.  Adam watched with fascination as he had all those years ago. Much wiser now, he knew what the men enjoyed there.

He pulled a chair over to the window and sat.  Watching the patrons gather outside, he was taken back to that time twelve years ago.

It had been a remarkable couple of weeks. He’d been seventeen and naive about the world and it’s realities. Adam allowed his mind to drift back, back to his youth, and back to Jessica.
 

The sun was just starting to set as Ben Cartwright and his eldest son Adam rode into the town of Tucson. The journey from their home in northern Nevada had been long and arduous.

Taking over three weeks, by horse, stage and train, the going had been difficult and the terrain unforgiving.

Ben glanced across at his son. Adam had coped brilliantly on the trip so far, but that really didn’t surprise Ben Cartwright one bit.

At seventeen years of age, Adam was fast becoming a man. Ben watched as his son nudged his horse forward into an easy gait. Adam was tall, strong and now very capable of running the Ponderosa along side his father.

Ben thought him ready for the trip and the responsibility of buying bloodline stock for their new breeding program. He’d wanted to give Adam some reward for his past efforts and to teach him the trade of running a successful ranch. Ben also wanted to feel as if they were all having a fresh start.

They’d all experienced a tough twelve months after Marie’s death. As he continued to study Adam, Ben marveled at how well his son had coped with the loss, taken over the day to day tasks, helped with the raising of his younger brothers, and assisted him with coming to terms with his grief.

Ben often wondered where Adam got all his inner strength. He was always serious and often quiet. A young man of his age should be out having a good time, finding out about life, love and adventure.

Adam, however, was duty bound and solemn most of the time. Ben worried about him more than he would ever admit.  He’d had a hard childhood

His mother, Elizabeth, had died at birth. While Adam had never known his mother, Ben had always been very aware of the fact that Adam had suffered a loss that he could never replace. When Ben had pursued his dream of heading west, he’d taken Adam along.

It was hard for the lad, always travelling, going to new towns and seeing strangers every day. Ben knew it had never really allowed Adam to form many friendships with other children his age. Ben was often anxious that he could have done more to make those years for his son more carefree.

Things had looked up when Inger had come along. A strong and loving woman, she’d treated Adam like her own child. He responded to her and soon loved her as any boy would his own mother. When Inger became pregnant shortly after she and Ben were married, Adam took it upon himself to look after her in his own way. Ben smiled at the memories. He’d been so grown up at only six years of age.  Adam had made Inger rest while he did all the chores he could. Ben remembered Inger remarking about Adam’s maturity and what a wonderful man he was going to be one day.

Ben’s pride surfaced and he’d hoped that the rocky start in Adam’s young life would stabilize. Ben didn’t expect another tragedy to befall them.

Inger, after having had her baby successfully on the trail, had got cornered with all the wagon trainers in an Indian battle. Unexpectedly and horrifically, she had been killed with an arrow, throwing Ben, Adam and now little Eric’s life into chaos.

Adam had taken it hard, but had coped amazingly because of his infant brother. Ben wallowed in grief but still managed to notice how his eldest son had taken control of the baby and promised on Inger’s grave that he would keep him safe for her. Adam had handled the loss better than his father had.

When Ben reached his goal of homesteading in the Nevada hills, they began to forge out a real life for themselves. Ben’s two sons grew.

Eric was a large child and thrived in the clean mountain air and loving environment provided by his brother and father. Adam called him Hoss and the name eventually stuck. Adam adored his little brother. Hoss was such a loving and gentle child, even though his size easily would allow him to become stronger than most. In return, Hoss lived for his brother. Following him everywhere, listening intently to his teachings and generally idolizing him.

When Hoss turned four and Adam eleven, Ben again married. Marie was very different from Elizabeth and Inger. She was from New Orleans, was outgoing and vivacious.

Ben had hoped that she would make his family complete again, and he brought her home to the Ponderosa with high hopes for the future.

It hadn’t been that easy as Adam took an instant dislike to her. Thinking back now, Ben realized that Adam had probably felt very threatened by her. He’d built a safety cocoon around him, having his father and his brother all to himself. This new woman entering their lives had shattered that.

Adam had been responsible for Hoss but he’d lost that sense of leadership when Marie joined them. Adam had made his displeasure felt and for quite a while, he had not been able to accept Marie, or let go of the responsibilities he had taken on as his own.

Gradually though, Marie worked at making him feel wanted, and with a positive outlook, Ben saw his family finally pull together. The following year they had a new baby to take care of, and Marie, gradually understanding Adam’s need for responsibility, allowed him to take charge of some of the chores for the baby.

Adam seemed to gain back his esteem and took baby Joseph under his wing. Marie had known, thought Ben, that what Adam needed most was to feel important and to feel as if he were needed. He had only known those types of feelings during his short life.

Again, just as Ben was feeling as if his life was complete, and Little Joe had turned five, Marie suffered a fatal fall from a horse.

It had happened in front of Ben’s very eyes. He had flown to pieces, unable to cope with a third lost love.  Adam, although also very distressed, somehow managed to encase his feelings and take charge once more.

As Ben grieved for his Marie, it was Adam who had made sure the boys were fed, clothed and taken to school. He spent hours out on the ranch, trying to keep up the workload. He took it upon himself to revive his broken spirit. Adam had been the rock of Gibraltar for Ben.

In the last couple of months, Ben was finally beginning to put it behind him, but it was hard. He couldn’t imagine how hard it would have been without his first born son there with him.

Ben still worried about him. He had a feeling that Adam was always hard, critical and forever pushing himself to do more and feel less. An impenetrable shell could be building around his heart.

He had a few close friends, but he rarely allowed them into his inner world. His closest relationships were with his brothers and Ben, but gradually if unconsciously, Ben felt he’d begun shutting them all out. He used his studies, books and now guitar lessons to mask a growing loneliness. Ben wasn’t sure if it was best to leave him to find his own peace or step in.

Adam could escape from pain better than anyone could.  Shutting out the world around him, he could simply isolate his mind, causing his father to be sometimes troubled about his future well being.

“There’s the town, Pa. I sure am hungry.”

Ben shook himself out of his memories at the sound of Adam’s eager voice.

“Well, son, you’re sounding like your brother Hoss.  I’m sure the hotel will have a nice dining room.” Ben smiled at Adam, as he turned his mount onto the road leading into Tucson. Sometimes, all his seriousness left him and he was just a boy. Ben relaxed.

“I hope so. I wonder what else there is in town to do?”

Ben continued to smile as he considered Adam’s good humor. This had been an excellent idea to bring him down to Arizona. Adam needed constant challenges and new horizons.  Ben even wondered if on this trip Adam might loosen his control on caution and lash out and have some fun.

Mind you, by the look of the city, he was concerned about him doing much of that in Tucson. They were here because of the large number of Spanish Ranches in the area.  The local Haciendas were famous for having the best breeding bulls in the country.

Ben planned to inspect the best breeding bulls for sale and purchase one to improve the stock on the Ponderosa. They would also purchase several high quality cows. He figured it would take at least two weeks to complete their business. One week too long, he thought. The town itself wasn’t Ben Cartwright’s idea of a decent place to stay for any length of time.

“We need to get an early start in the morning, Adam.  Senor Francesco will be waiting for us.”

“Sure Pa,” came Adam’s distracted answer.

He was more interested in seeing the famous city. Tucson had been part of Mexico’s holdings until recently after the Mexican War. It was now a major trade and east-west corridor for the settlers and miners heading to California.

It had a lot of Spanish history as well as famous Apache raids to its credit. Adam had been reading newspaper articles and the published stories on this part of the country before they’d left. Ben knew he was eager to explore the community for himself. He just didn’t know how to let him do that and be confident he was safe. Still, he had to try and allow his son more freedom to explore untested worlds.
 

Adam scanned the city with keen interest. The first sight he saw as they entered the outskirts of town was the local Boot Hill. Adam strained to see the grave stones from his horse. Ben frowned with disapproval.

“Adam, I don’t think it’s very appropriate for you to be excited by other peoples misery and misfortune.”

“But, Pa. Do you realize whose buried in there? Famous outlaws, cavalry men, Spanish gunmen . . .”

“Adam, remember they were all human beings.  Glorifying murderers and outlaws is wrong, as is clambering over a dead man’s grave.” Ben gave his most serious look.

“I know Pa.” Adam answered with a more regulated tone.  “It’s just that these local stories are legendary. I’ve read about some famous gunfights down this way too.”

“Death is not so pretty when it is laying out in the street for all to see, son.”

“I know, Pa.” Adam became silent as a fleeting memory of Marie entered his mind.

Adam knew about death. He wasn’t trying to be gruesome; it was just his passion for stories and legends that made him interested.

“I know you do, son. But lets go get cleaned up. We have a lot of work to do over the next few days.”

Adam, shutting out the brief memory, reluctantly followed along. He wanted to have a look at the graves, but his father was obviously not impressed with the idea. He would find some time to go see them during their stay. He’d make sure of that.

They turned their horses into Main Street and headed up toward the Crystal Palace. Adam swung around in the saddle, taking in all the sights and sounds around him.  The town was crowded with miners, cowboys and settlers. It was a well-established town compared to Virginia City, so a lot of building was going on in all directions. The bars and saloons they passed were noisy and crowded with all the travelers going through. All were hot and thirsty and ready for merriment.

Ben looked at the surroundings in a totally different light from Adam. Big cites like this one could be unruly, full of rough men and danger. He certainly felt uncomfortable about staying here, but they had been out on the trail so long. They needed a good clean up and meal, before doing the business they had come to do.

As they turned up 5th Street, Ben started to feel he’d made a mistake. The sound of gunfire and raucous laughter seemed to pour out of every building. If there were decent families living in the town, there certainly seemed to be none on the streets this evening, only drunks and troublemakers.

Ben put his mare to the trot, anxious to get to the hotel and to safety. Glancing at Adam, he knew he wasn’t feeling the same way.

“Come on son, lets get checked into the hotel. I want you to have an early night.”

Adam reluctantly stepped up his mounts pace, not wanting to go to bed so soon. He had been looking forward to this for weeks. Maybe later, he could sneak out of his room, and explore the town without his father knowing. He wasn’t ordinarily disobedient, but he was getting older after all. Old enough to take care of himself and make the right judgements. He’d been doing that for his brothers for years.

Ben was relieved when they arrived at the Crystal Palace. It looked decent and didn’t seem to have the same uproar going on that the other establishments had. He dismounted and prepared to go inside, fully expecting to be followed by his son.

Adam however, couldn’t drag his gaze away from the strange building diagonally opposite the hotel. Outside it’s doors stood dozens of patrons, all waiting to get in.  It looked like a theater from the outside, with billboard signs and flaming torches.

Adam squinted from where he stood, trying to read the name in the fading light. It was a theater he realized after a moment.

The Bird Cage Theater.

Immediately delighted, he wondered how a theater had managed to become so popular in this type of town. Maybe they were showing a play by Shakespeare, or perhaps a comedy melodrama. He couldn’t read the billing from where he was standing however, and before he could go and investigate, Ben came back out of the hotel and called for him to come inside. Surely his father wouldn’t mind him going to the theater! He would ask him about it over supper.

It was good to wash up properly and have a square meal. After Adam had satisfied his hunger, he decided to bring up the subject of the theater.

“Pa, I noticed across the road, they have a real live theater. I’m mighty keen to go see what’s playing. Maybe it’s a famous play.” Adam looked keenly at his father who was taking his time over the reply.

“Adam, I don’t think it’s the kind of theater you’re thinking about.” His father squirmed in his seat.

“What do you mean? It says it’s a theater. What other kinds are there?”

Ben sighed and rubbed his brow. “It’s not a real theater, son. They’ve just taken the name. I’ll bet it’s really a, well, a dance hall.”

Could it be true? Adam looked at his father with skepticism. “Well, Pa, couldn’t I just go over the road and make sure? You could be wrong. After all, there are a heap of saloons in this town. Why would they need another one?  It could be a real theater.” Adam tried to be serious, but suddenly, the thought of having a peak inside a real fancy dance hall was far more exiting than an evening of Macbeth.

Ben smiled at his eldest. He appreciated the fact that his son liked cultural pursuits. How many other men in this God-forsaken land would be hoping for a Shakespearean play to be showing, instead of what he suspected was on offer?

“All right, son. You may go over to read the billboards, but that’s all. I expect you back here in ten minutes or so. If you are right, which I doubt, we can discuss you going to the theater later.”

Adam jumped out of his seat and was gone before Ben Cartwright could get his spoon into his mouth. He sincerely hoped Adam would return in ten minutes. It wasn’t safe out.  That fact that he was not carrying a gun was little comfort.
 

Adam stood outside the theater, staring at the billboards.  The painted pictures were as risqué as Adam had ever seen.  Ladies wearing brilliant colored dresses. Their legs showing from under the petticoats and their faces smiling sweetly, luring in passing trade.

“Move over there, boy. Let a real man past.” Adam was rudely shoved from behind as a stocky miner studied the painting. “Ain’t she a princess? Miss Delilah. She’s even more pretty in person.”

Adam looked again at the likeness and wondered how she could possibly be more beautiful than the billboard. Her hair was like golden honey, her lips red and full. Her figure . . .he swallowed, suddenly feeling uncomfortably hot.

“You’ve seen her, Mister?”

The miner turned and gave Adam a lecherous grin.

“Seen her? I done poked her, lots a times. She’s the best in town.” He laughed sadistically and spat tobacco on the ground. “Give you some advice, boy. If’n you want to be taught, you get her to learn ya. She’s one of a kind.”

Adam was feeling decidedly uncomfortable. He wasn’t totally naïve about such things, as he read books from Europe, although he was pretty close to being so.

“How much money you got, boy?” The miner looked at Adam with sly purpose.

“Not much. Why?”

“They ain’t gonna let you in with any less’n fifty dollars. And that’s just to get in.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay. I’m not planning on staying.”  Adam began to walk away, knowing that trying to get into this place was one thing his father would never approve of.

“Tell you what, boy. For all the money you got, I’ll tell you about a secret entrance. Mean’s you can get in an’ see the girls on the stage. If’n you got good eyesight, you might see somethin’ more than that.”

Adam wasn’t a peeping tom. His father and Marie had raised him to be decent, respectable and honorable. But then again, the thought of just catching a glimpse of the exciting world inside that building was overwhelming him.  Wrestling with his conscience, he turned around and went back to the miner.

“I’ve only got twenty dollars.” Adam couldn’t believe the words had come out of his mouth.

“That ain’t much boy, but, well, I’ll take pity on ya.  Can’t see any fella not doing with a look at Miss Delilah.”

Adam reluctantly drew the notes from his pocket.  Before they were totally withdrawn, the man swiped them, stuffing them into his pocket.

“Okay, boy. Down the left side of the building, through to the back alley. There’s an old vent hole for the air. It’s covered with an old sheet of iron. Move it and go through the tunnel. You have to crawl a bit, and there’s rats. But at the end, you’ll be rewarded. I guarantee it.”  He let out a foul sounding laugh and left Adam penniless and fighting with his morals.

His morals won after several minutes and he headed back to the Crystal Palace. His father had always taught him to respect women, even those of ill repute.

Ben Cartwright was relieved to see his son return. He’d been a little longer that ten minutes, but all things considered, he was proud of his charge.

“Well, Adam. Was it as I suggested?”

“I’m afraid so, Pa. You should see those billboards.”  Adam whistled quietly and Ben gave him a disapproving look.

“These types of towns are full of that kind of stuff.  I know you’re getting older and you need to make your own choices in life, but remember, those women are wicked and sinful. There’s nothing to be gained by knowing them.” Adam was inclined to disagree with him there, but he was in no position to start a conversation about it.

“You’re right, Pa. I think I’ll head on up to bed.”  Adam feigned a yawn.

“Good idea, son. I might talk to some of the gentlemen in the parlor. See if I can get any good advice on the local livestock.” Ben smiled at Adam as he rose from the table.

“All right, Pa. See you in the morning.”

“Goodnight.”

Adam turned and headed for the staircase leading up to the second floor. He had his own room on this trip. That had been one of the things his father had allowed him seeing as how he was growing older.

Even so, he knew very well that his Pa would look in on him before he went to bed. It was his nightly ritual. Adam thought briefly about sneaking out and going through the hidden entrance, but he dismissed it as being too childish, and much too dangerous.

Later that night, as Ben Cartwright looked in on his sleeping son, he felt comfortable. Adam was such a good lad. There weren’t many fathers who could rely on their child as Ben could rely on Adam. He was level headed, truthful and responsible. Ben retired to his own room snug in the knowledge that Adam was safe.

Adam couldn’t sleep for the dry heat building up in his room. After tossing and turning for a few minutes, he got up and went to the window. The old shutters were a bit stiff, but after a couple of forceful shoves, they opened wide.

The cool breeze he had been hoping for was not forthcoming. It was just as hot outside. Adam sighed heavily and pulled a wooden chair up to the window. At home in November the snowfalls were well and truly building up.  Down in the south, it was just like a Washoe summer. Adam wondered briefly what it would be like to be here in July.  Probably unbearable. He couldn’t imagine choosing to live in such heat, although, Tucson was a very exciting place.

He became more awake as he rested his arms and head on the second story windowsill. It was about 2am. That didn’t mean that things had quieted down out in the street. There was still a large gathering outside the Bird Cage. Drunks and revelers were still out in full swing.

Adam watched with keen interest as he studied the people, wondering what their stories were. Eventually, his gaze settled on the entrance to the theater. Men filed in and out. He recognized the miner he had talked to earlier, dead drunk and staggering around. He saw men who were dressed in fine silk suits, obviously with money, entering and leaving. He saw poor men too, all pooling together money, hoping to get into the establishment. As Adam became more and more intrigued, he thought again about the secret entrance at the rear of the building.

What could it hurt if he just had one look inside? It must be a high-class place, being so expensive. He’d been in saloons. It couldn’t be too much different. There weren’t many times that Adam had been sneaky or disobedient in his life. It didn’t sit well with him to be so, but there were some occasions that ultimately were a learning experience, and as he grew more curious, it seemed this might be one of them.

Fifteen minutes later, Adam was dressed and quietly stealing out the door of his hotel room. His fathers’ room was right next door, so he had to be especially careful.  Ben was not a light sleeper, but he was an early riser.  Adam had to make sure he was not out for long.

As he crept down the stairs, he cringed as the occasional floorboard creaked and groaned under his weight.  Peeking around the wall at the bottom of the flight, he checked the front desk for the manager. He was there, but he was sound asleep in his chair, the noise of his snoring the only thing breaking through the thick air.

Adam got past without a problem and headed out into the street. He pulled his hat and coat on for anonymity, even though it was hot. Glancing up at his fathers’ room, he checked that there was no light shining out from the window. There wasn’t, so it was nervous energy and expectation that he crossed the road and headed towards the back of the buildings there.

His heart was pounding as he stole along the back alley behind the row of shops and merchants. The rear of the Bird Cage was lit with a single flaming torch. Adam was glad for the light as the alley was full of obstacles including rubbish and storage barrels. He checked his surroundings carefully, staying back in the shadows for a few minutes before crossing the last alley.

He could see the old sheet of tin the miner told him about and started to seriously doubt his motives. He shouldn’t be doing this but something was compelling him.  Something stronger than morals.

Adam ran to the tin, and lifted it away from the timber wall. There was a hole, unfortunately not as big as he had thought. It would take some doing to squeeze his six-foot frame through the gap. He was urged along by some raised voices approaching the rear of the building.

With panic, he pushed himself into the hole and began to crawl along the duct. It was stifling hot inside and pitch black. He gasped for air. The further in he went, the more he wanted to turn back. He couldn’t believe he had stooped so low as to do this. This was something he could imagine his kid brothers doing in ten years time, not him!

Yet he had to forge on. There was not place to turn around in the tunnel. Struggling ahead, he finally saw light coming from the other end. It was pale yellow and dull, but at least it was light.

As Adam crawled to the edge, he looked around cautiously to see what sort of environment he was now in.  Not a very hygienic one, unfortunately. It appeared to be the underneath of the building. He could hear the stomping of boots above his head. The rats were there, covering the dirt floor as the miner had described. The air was stale and the smell of alcohol and sweat laced the atmosphere.  Adam felt like gagging, having trouble coming to terms with the stench.

He noticed the light was coming from a gap in the floor level straight ahead. He steadied his resolve and walked ahead, still having to stoop because of the low ceiling. He reached the opening and looked through. He saw a room full of poker players. The air, thick with cigar smoke, almost made him cough but he managed to hold it in.

He saw a couple of strikingly handsome women, serving up whiskey. Over to the right was a staircase, obviously leading to the theater above. This seemed to be an exclusive gathering.

One man, sitting at the far side of the round table appeared to be in charge. He might be the owner, thought Adam. The way he conducted the game and the manner, in which he ordered the girls around, led him to that conclusion. Adam noted how he plied his customers with free whiskey, distracted them with the women, and then casually took them for everything they had. He made a mental note never to accept free drinks from a poker player in the future.

After a while, Adam began to look around for the way out. The miner hadn’t given him anymore instructions and he certainly would be mad it this was as far as he got. Then he noticed in the corner of the basement area a built up of old beer kegs. Beside them was a door used to dump them down here.

It was the only escape he could see, so he boldly opened the door and peered through. It led to a dark corridor, then to a flight of stairs. Adam’s heart beat loudly as he ascended all the while worried that he was going to be caught.

At the top of the flight, was yet another door.  Scared now, Adam reached for the handle and gently turned it. He was rewarded with another dark corridor. It was empty and he hurried along it, fear racing through his veins. At the end was a gap in the wall, apparently put there again for ventilation. Seeing no other way, Adam squeezed through it and entered another world. The small space was brilliantly lit with candlelight from the dozens of chandeliers. He was up on the top level, close to the roof. There was a ledge, looking over the whole interior, and Adam held his breath as he walked to the edge.

He couldn’t believe his eyes as he gazed on the scene below him. Hundreds of men milled around in the body of the main room. Adam was above the entrance to the building, and down the other end of the hall was a stage.

Heavy red velvet curtains hung down cloaking it, covering its mystique. At the same level as Adam, but closer to the stage, were over twenty small balcony chambers. Each one swathed in the same red velvet. In each one sat a gentleman, obviously having paid extra for his view.

Then, Adam noticed in some, women accompanied the gentlemen. And what women they were. Dressed in sequins, silk and lace, they exuded class and wickedness. Adam had never put the two together before, but that was the only way he could think to describe them. They were gay, laughing and pouring expensive champagne down their customer’s throats. Adam soaked it all in, fascinated.

Just then, the stage curtains began to open and a roar erupted from the body of patrons. The man, who Adam had seen at the poker game, strode onto the stage from the wings. He looked sharp and very much in control. Adam took an instant dislike to him. The crowd grew quiet as the man held his hands up, waiting to speak.

“Good evening, friends. Welcome to The Bird Cage Theater.” Another loud roar went up. “I know some of you were here for the earlier show.”

Lots of men laughed; a joke that Adam didn’t quite appreciate.

“I respect your good judgement, friends. For those of you here for the first time, it’s my custom to announce the main attraction. Also, to remind you folks, that for a few dollars more, you could be up in the cages, being privately entertained by my best girls. Think about that next week, boys and save your money.” Again there was laughter, and Adam found himself ducking as many of the faces below looked up to see the men in the fancy chambers.

“Well, without further adieu, here she is. The most beautiful woman ever to grace the Bird Cage’s stage. The one, the only, Miss Delilah.”

The man retreated back into the wings as the curtains opened all the way revealing a luridly painted background.  Adam could feel the blush creep up his neck as he studied the artwork. It had all been worth it, just for that.  Then, something incredible happened. All went silent, as a veiled woman slunk out from behind the velvet and glided to the center of the stage.

Adam licked his lips nervously. Pa would certainly tan his hide if he knew what he was doing. Even at his age! The woman was covered with dozens of see-through veils, hiding everything but a hint of her voluptuous figure. Music from a quartet played as the seductress wove a spell for her audience.

The way she moved, the way she teased, the way she had every man spell bound. Every man including Adam. He was a long way away, but still he was mesmerized as she discarded the filmy material piece by piece. He watched as her body revealed itself a fraction at a time.

Adam got caught up in the spell she created. He beheld her special talent, as did everyone in the great hall.  Then, just as she was about to reveal herself, Adam heard footsteps coming towards his hiding place.

He quickly shrank down into the darkened corner of the small space, hoping that the person would not come all the way in. Someone did pear into the room, but then retreated.  Adam had been holding his breath, only letting it out when he heard the retreat of the steps.

He rose from where he had been hiding and wiped his brow of sweat. As he glanced back toward the stage, he realized that he had missed the Grande Finale. Miss Delilah was gone and in her wake clapping, cheering and boot stomping.

All this trouble and he missed it!

Somehow, though, he didn’t feel too bad about that.

Adam needed to get out of here. He was much more wary now, as he thought about going back out the way he had come.  Surely he couldn’t be as lucky the second time around.  Even so, he retreated quickly out of the service area and scurried back down the hall.

Luck ran with him as he made it back down to the cellar without being spotted. This was definitely a reprieve. He shouldn’t take this opportunity lightly, and as he crawled back through the tunnel, he vowed never to do something like this again. Pa was right. These types of women just weren’t worth it.

Making it back out of the hole, Adam took a gulp of the hot, but fresh air outside. That was another thing that he didn’t like. The smell in those places. How could people put up with it?

He stood up and brushed the dirt and dust from his coat and trousers. The torch was still lit, and the sky was still black. He had a little time before dawn and before his father would wake and start their day.

Grateful for all the good luck, he walked carefully to the corner of the building and looked around for anyone who might see him. No one was around, so he made a dash for the merchant’s next door. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath and let out a sigh of relief.

Just as he did, the back door of the Bird Cage Theater swung open and a woman came tumbling out and down the stairs. Adam turned in surprise. Everything happened so quickly. The woman landed in a heap at the bottom of the four steps leading into the building.

Then, a man came hurtling out of the doorway, violence in his gait. The same man as at the poker game and whom had been on stage. The woman scrambled to get up, trying to run. The man caught her by the hair and yanked her back against his chest.

Adam was horrified by the savagery, but he saw the man carried a gun. He knew he was the type to use it. Adam would be dead in a matter of seconds if he ran out now. So he watched, waiting for an opportunity to rush the man, and help the woman.

“Manning, I don’t care how much you hurt me, you’re not having my girl.”

“You don’t have a choice, sweet Princess. That money you gave to your banker. Well he’s a good friend of mine.  You don’t think she’ll actually get any of it do you? That is, if she don’t co-operate.”

Manning pulled her hair tighter, and grabbed the woman around the neck with his arm.

“You can’t do this. It’s a proper bank. I earned that money, every last cent. She gets it. You can’t take it, I’ll make sure.” The female gasped for air as he choked her tighter.

Just as Adam was about to make his play, another person appeared at the back door. A girl.

“Let her go, you animal!”

“Ah, Princess, here’s your lovely daughter come out to save ‘ya. What’ll we tell her? Shall we tell her about our plans for her?”

The woman struggled violently and was countered by a vicious punch to her side. As she cried out in pain, Adam had to hold himself to stop from running out into the fray.  He had to wait for the right moment.

The girl came down the stairs and struggled with the brute.

“Let her go. She makes more money for you than all the others put together. You can’t afford to harm her.”

He turned at her voice and slapped her roughly across the face. The girl hit the ground hard.

“Jessica, no!”  The woman fought harder to get away,

but only caused the man to tighten his grip and hit her brutally in the stomach. She crumpled to the ground in pain.

The daughter launched herself from the ground and attacked him by grabbing his arm and biting him savagely.  Manning yelled with pain and clutched his arm. Adam saw his chance and rushed out, tackling the man from behind. In a second, Adam had him sprawled out flat on the ground, holding him down with the weight of his body. He yelled out to the girl who was crouched over the older woman.

“Quick, get me a rope. I need to tie him up, or he’ll kill us all.” She looked back at Adam, momentarily startled.

“All right, wait a moment.” She got up and ran back inside the theater. She was only gone a minute, but to Adam it seemed like an hour. The man was strong and Adam was having a hard time keeping him down. Fortunately, Adam had filled out over the last year and become as powerful as most men older than himself so he was able to keep him under control.

The girl returned with a piece of rope. Adam grabbed it off her and hog-tied the attacker like a calf ready for branding. The more the man struggled, the tighter the rope got.

The barbarian still hadn’t seen his face and that’s the way he wanted it to stay. He turned the man on his side, and punched him once in the jaw. Stunned, Manning’s head went back, and he was out cold. Quick, we have to get out of here before he comes to, which way should we go?”

The girl came to a quick decision, and motioned towards the back of the theater.

“This way. But my ma, she’s still dizzy.”

Adam left the man on the ground and hurried over to the victim. He scooped the woman up off the ground as if she weighed nothing.

“Hurry, go!”

Adam followed the girl through back alleys and streets for about ten minutes, before she stopped outside a small doorway. She turned the latch and the door opened.

“Bring her in here.”

“Does he know about this place?”

“No, it belongs to a . . .a friend of ma’s. He won’t find us. Here, put her down.”

They were in a small parlor.  Adam placed the lady he had been carrying down on the couch with care. The girl ran out of the room and returned in an instant with a bowl of water and a cloth.

Adam stood back as she gently patted down her mothers’ face. Turning to the heavy curtains, Adam drew them closed, then lit a lamp in the corner of the room. For the first time, he could see the two properly.

He gasped a surprised breath as he recognized the woman. She was Miss Delilah. Somehow, lying there, being tended her daughter, she looked much more like a mother and much less like a woman of the night. Adam approached them both trying to hide his shock.

“Don’t worry, boy. I won’t bite you,” said Delilah. She smiled sweetly and winced as her daughter continued to clean her wounds.

“No, ma’am.” Adam shuffled uncomfortably. He had to get back to his hotel. It was starting to get light outside.

“Thank you. I truly appreciate what you did for us.”  The girl glanced at him with curiosity.

Adam looked at her closely for the first time. She was the image of her mother. Honey colored long hair, milky white skin, just lovely. He figured her to be younger than himself. As she lifted her head, she winced from the painful bruise on her face.

“It’s all right Jess, take it easy.” Delilah spoke soothingly to her child even though she was hurt more.  Adam was suddenly caught up in a memory of his own stepmother, Marie, saying something similar to him when he had been sick or hurt. A well of emotion gathered behind his eyes. He had to get out of here.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but I have to be getting back.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Of course you have to go. I truly appreciate you coming to our rescue like that. It was very gallant." She smiled up at him and again he had the same nagging memory of Marie.

“That’s all right. Glad to help.”

“I’d love to see Manning in the morning. He’s going to be riled.” She smiled and her mother followed suit. Adam couldn’t understand why they took it so casually.

“With all due respect, ma'am, I think it’s a good idea if you stay out of his way.” Adam burned with curiosity about why the fight had happened, but he had no time now to find out. Delilah looked up at him, a resigned expression on her face.

“I can’t very well do that. He’s my boss. Also, he won’t remember much in the morning anyhow.”

Adam noticed she spoke with a slight southern drawl.

“Manning’s only bad when he’s drunk,” pitched in her daughter.

“Even so, take care, both of you.” Adam felt his face grow hot as he looked at the two ladies. Especially at the one called Jessica. She was young, brave and very pretty. “I’d better go.” Adam turned and headed for the door, hoping like hell that his father had not yet woken.

“Wait!” Delilah called in a croaky voice just as he was leaving.

Adam half turned, now anxious to get away.

“What’s your name? I’d like to know who rescued Jess and me.”

“Adam Cartwright, ma’am. But please, don’t tell anybody.”

The young girl giggled. “Well, Adam Cartwright, do you know your way back home?”

Adam was embarrassed to admit that he didn’t have a clue.

“Come on, it’s this way,” said Jessica. She shot out the door and Adam followed.

They were halfway back when Adam could hold in his inquisitiveness no longer.

“Miss Jessica, what was the fight about anyway? I heard something about money in a bank.”

Jessica laughed again.

“What’s the matter?”

“You called me Miss Jessica. No one calls me that.”  She darted ahead of Adam, checking each street before she entered with cunning movements.

“Why not? It’s just normal manners.”

“It might be where you come from, but not where I come from.” Jessica turned and gave him a quick smile before hurrying up the next alley.

“Why, where do you come from?”

“The Bird Cage Theater, where else? The local brothel, just pick a town, any town.” She again turned and smiled, but Adam could tell that it was not a sincere one.

“Surely you can’t have lived there all your life. In those places.” The thought was very distasteful to Adam, especially after tonight’s experiences.

“Some of us have no choice.” Jessica turned to Adam and studied his clothes. “From the look of you, I’d say you come from money. You probably live in some fancy place the other side of town, or maybe you’re from out of town?”

“Yes, I’m from the Nevada Territory.”

“Really? That’s still wild country up there. How come you’re in Tucson?” Adam was slightly annoyed, as he had wanted to find out more about the girl, not the other way around.

“I’m here with my Pa to buy cattle.”

“Oh, you are from money, then. The cattle around here are top quality.”

“We may have money now, but our family have worked mighty hard to get what we’ve got. We started with nothing too.” Adam looked down on her, darkly, annoyed that people assumed they had come by their ranch easily.

“Hmm, but you had a good name to help you along, I’d bet.”

She reached the main street, and Adam recognized the hotel across the way. They were several buildings up from the Bird Cage.

“I don’t know. I think anyone can make it in this country with good honest hard work.”

“Anyone who’s a man.” Jessica didn’t say it with spite or anger, just with resignation.

“Tell me. What was that all about back there. I mean, I’d like to know why I almost got myself killed.”

Jessica looked up at the handsome young man in front of her, wondering if she should trust a stranger with her troubles. He seemed different from most. He had helped them and it appeared he was not supposed to be out on the streets of Tucson at this hour. That meant he would probably not be telling anyone about their ordeal.

“It’s simple. Manning, that’s the boss, he wants to sell me off.” She turned her head down and studied the ground.

“What?”

“Just as I said,” she mumbled, shifting around uncomfortably.

“People shouldn’t sell other people like slaves.”

“It’s not really like slavery. It’s more like, well, like entering a profession.” Jessica smiled sweetly, but Adam now understood it to be a nervous smile, as if she had been taught to do it under difficult circumstances.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m fifteen years old, Adam. My mother is almost thirty-two. That means she’s getting toward the end of her working life.” She stopped, hoping he’d get it without further explanation. Adam continued to stare at her.

“You know, men won’t want her soon, but, Manning figures they’ll want me instead.” She fiddled nervously with the lace trim on her dress.

“You don’t mean he’d . . .he’d sell you to a man for . . .”

“You bet he would. Ma has been working hard all this time, saving her money so she could make sure I can get a good start in life. So I won’t have to follow in her footsteps. I can read and write, and she’s made sure I use good grammar and manners, so that I can get a job as a proper lady when we get out of here.

She figured just one more year and we’d have enough to start fresh. She’s been keeping the money at the bank so as Manning can’t get at it. He’s really mad about that.”

As she talked Adam thought about the awful existence they must have led. How Delilah had to survive. Surely women did not really enjoy this type of occupation. If she was well educated, why did she have to do it?

“Why, then? Why don’t you both get out now? Your mother seems very refined.”

“She is, but you can’t help bad luck.” Jessica seemed to be caught in her own thoughts for a moment, and Adam remembered that he had to get back to his room or there’d be hell to pay.

“I have to go. My Pa will be up soon.” Adam looked down on the lovely young lady; her cheek still blazing red from the slap it had received. Unconsciously, he raised his hand to it, touching it gently.

“You better put a cold steak on that, or it’ll bruise real bad.”

Jessica jerked away from his contact, startled by the gentle caress.

“I will, I have to go, see you tomorrow night, all right?” She turned and looked at him hopefully as she retreated.

“I don’t know.” Adam watched her go, struggling with the answer.

“Right here at midnight. I can show you the town.”  She smiled again, but this time genuinely.

Adam heard himself agree, then ran across the road and into the hotel. He pulled his hat down low, not wanting to be recognized. The desk was not manned and for the second time in a row, he made it through without being spotted.

Back in his room, Adam hastily removed his clothes and climbed back into the bed. His Pa was not yet up, thankfully. He’d been very fortunate. It would be foolish to go out again the following night, let alone try to stay alert during the day after having little sleep. He already was not looking forward to getting up in the next hour.  But all things considered, he had experienced a unique night.

Drifting off to sleep, Adam thought about the theater, the way of life there and about Delilah and Jessica. He realized he wanted to know more about them and their plight. Jessica was his last thought as he fell into a deep slumber.
 

Not more than thirty minutes later, Ben Cartwright knocked softly on his son’s door. Adam was fast asleep and didn’t wake. Ben, assuming that his charge was just over tired from the journey, turned the latch and entered the room.  He saw the open window. He had opened his as well, trying to cool off. He also noted the clothes lying untidily on the floor. That was unusual.

Ben smiled as he picked them up. Adam must have been tired. He was usually so neat. Ben figured he’d got that trait from his mother, Elizabeth, who used to fuss over the smallest things like dusting and straightening the furniture. Also, with Adam having to organize his brothers so much, if he himself was in a mess, he’d never get through.

Ben gazed at his son lovingly. He was reluctant to wake him, as the journey had been long. But he wanted to get their work out of the way as quickly as possible. He didn’t like being away from Hoss and Joe for so long, even though they had Hop Sing, his number one cousin and Mrs. Cas to dote over them.

Ben had not left his sons for any great length of time before and he found he was missing them dreadfully. Only in the last month did he think Joe could cope with Adam and himself leaving the ranch.

At six years old, Little Joe was a bright boy, but very demanding. When Marie died Ben had suffered dreadfully. Joe also had taken it very hard, not really understanding death.

Ben watched as Adam valiantly tried to explain it to Joe. Ben had relied on Adam. His middle boy, Hoss too, shouldered the burden well, also much wiser than his eleven years.

Hoss saw life like he saw nature. All animals had to die sooner or later. People were no different. He learned that when his first pony died from colic. He told his little brother so, trying to help.
 

Ben was certainly blessed with his sons. As he reminisced, he reached over and gently shook Adam. He barely moved, groaning protest in his sleep.

“Adam, son.” Ben shook him again, this time a little harder.

“What?” Adam sprang up from the pillow, startling his father.

“Easy, son. Just time to wake up.”

“Oh.” Adam looked at his smiling father through bleary eyes. “What’s the time?”

“Almost five. I would like to get an early start before it gets too hot.” Ben gave his charge an affectionate ruffle of the hair as he left the room. “See you downstairs in about fifteen minutes.”

Ben left the room and Adam flopped back on the bed, not believing how tired he was. After a few moments, he managed to drag himself out and over to the wash bowl. He wasn’t going out at night again, not if he felt this bad in the morning.

He had, up until now lead a fairly boyish life. Going to bed early, reading late sometimes, certainly, but had never been out all night. At least not when he had to work the next day. Often over the past months he had spent countless nights sitting up with his brothers, or his father, whenever the nightmare of their recent loss affected them. But that didn’t really count, as he usually got some sleep in a chair.

There was nothing to be done about it now, so he slowly washed, dressed then trudged down the stairs to the dining room. During the hearty breakfast of bacon, eggs, steak and coffee, he began to feel marginally better.

His father droned on, with the details of the cattle they were going to see. Adam was usually so attentive and studious, but right now, with his mind functioning at only about a quarter, he found it draining. His mind also chose to think about the night before, and nothing he did seemed to make it focus on his father.

“Adam, are you listening to me?” Ben looked a little annoyed, as his son continued to stare into space.

“Hmm, sure Pa.” Adam answered after swallowing the food in his mouth.

“Don’t forget, I’m teaching this to you so I can send you out to buy and sell in the future. You have to be astute and alert at all times, to make sure you don’t get taken by these crafty breeders.”

“I know, Pa. Sorry. Must still be tired from the trip.” Adam managed a weak smile and continued eating.

Ben nodded, seemingly satisfied and finished his meal.

It was a two-hour ride out to the first ranch they were to visit. Ben noticed that Adam was exceptionally quiet. Not that he was ever full of chatter, but usually he had the occasional thing to say.

“Anything the matter, son?” Ben asked when they were two thirds of the way along.

Adam looked over to his father and considered the answer. “No, Pa, why?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Just thought you were very quiet this morning.”

Adam shrugged a non-committal answer.

“Maybe you’re missing your brothers. I know I am.”  Ben surveyed the district wistfully, as he suddenly wanted to be back in the lush green haven of the Ponderosa, instead of in this desert wasteland.

“Yeah, maybe.” Adam felt guilty. He hadn’t thought of his brothers all day. He did miss them. But at the same time, he knew it was best to get away for a while. They all had to move on, and allowing his brothers some time with other people was good for their development. He also thought his father needed a break from being on the ranch.  He needed to get away from the tough memories.

“Pa, do you reckon Little Joe has driven Mrs. Cas crazy yet?”

Ben smiled and thought a moment. “I have a feeling that might well be the case. Although Hop Sing won’t take any nonsense from him. He’s a good man, is Hop Sing.

“Good cook too. At least you won’t get any bad behavior from Hoss. All Hop Sing’s got to do is threaten to take away his supper. That’ll do it.”

Adam and his father laughed knowingly as they picked up the pace.

The rest of the day went well. Ben looked over lots of potential breeding stock, but he didn’t want to make any hasty decisions. He promised Senor Francesco that he would call again the following week with his proposal. He explained that he still had several Haciendas to visit.

They arrived back in Tucson mid afternoon and all Adam wanted was to have a cool bath and stretch out for a while in his room. Ben had no problem with that as he could see how worn out Adam appeared. They both agreed to meet for dinner at seven.

After his bath, Adam quickly drifted off to sleep and woke just before suppertime. After a good meal, he decided he would definitely go back to bed but as he ate and watched the start of the night life crowds gathering in the dining room and out in the streets and he felt the adrenaline begin to pump.

He sat up for a while with his father in the parlor pretending to be interested in a book from the small library they kept. Increasingly, he considered sneaking out again. His curiosity growing for the city and for the girl he’d met. He would like to know more about her and her mother and what life was like living how they did.

When he eventually made it to bed, Adam tried to sleep. He wanted to be a good son for his father and behave properly, but when as if by fate, he awoke at ten minutes to twelve, he got out of bed and started to dress. It was no cooler than the night before, so he chose just to wear his trousers and favorite cream shirt.

For the second night in a row, Adam crept from his room and made it out into the street without being seen.  As the night before, lots of revelers were in the street, with a huge line up outside the Bird Cage Theater. Adam headed for the building where he’d left Jessica the previous evening. Perhaps she wouldn’t show up. That’d allow him to go back to the hotel with a clear conscience.  He arrived at the spot just after the town hall clock finished chiming twelve.

“I thought you might chicken out.” The young girl’s voice floated out from the shadows.

“What made you think that?” Adam tried to sound confident, but he didn’t know if he’d succeeded.

“I thought your father might stop you.” Jessica stepped out from behind the building and smiled shrewdly at Adam.

“He’s asleep,” Adam said. “Besides, I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”

“Oh, really?” Jessica gave him a doubtful look and slid out into the glow of the torchlight coming from the saloon close by.

“Come on, I’ve got something to show you.” Suddenly, in a great hurry, Jessica grabbed Adam’s hand and propelled him along the road to the next street corner.

“What, wait! Where are we going?” Adam didn’t usually like being told what to do, and particularly not by a girl.  He used his size and weight to advantage and pulled her to a halt.

“Adam, didn’t you want to see the city?” Her honey colored hair shimmered in the dull yellow lights surrounding them.

“Well, yeah, but what can we see in the dark? No one’s gonna let us in to any of the saloons, we’re too young.”  Adam felt childish as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Jessica looked at him with superiority, and laughed.

“Just follow me, Adam. Looks like you’re going to have a surprising time tonight.”

Not wanting to appear apprehensive, Adam released his grip and strode along side her. “Just wanted to know if you knew what you were doing.”

“Sure, this is my world. The night, the darkness, the excitement.” Her eyes shone brightly as she beckoned him to follow her down one of the back streets.

Adam felt the pit of his stomach lurch, both at the exhilaration of the exploration he was about to undertake, and more strangely, at the sweet smile on Jessica’s pretty face.

“Got any money?” Jessica turned to Adam as they watched people entering and leaving the “Lucky Saloon”.

“No, sorry.  I gave it all to a. . . .”  Adam stopped as he realized he had given all his pocket money to the miner the previous night, so he could get a look at Jessica’s mother. “A poor destitute fellow,” he finished.

“A drunk one, more like.” She looked at him and narrowed her eyes. “You’ve got to learn to be less trusting, you know. This is a wicked town. Men will take all you got, quicker than you can blink an eye. You’ve got to be smart with money.”

“I can take care of myself,” he almost shouted. “I don’t need some fifteen year old girl to tell me how to handle money!”

“All right, don’t get all mad. Luckily, I have quite a bit of money. I get tips in the afternoons. My job is to help all the women get ready for the shows and entertaining. They give me any spare change they have.”

Reaching into the pocket on her pinafore, she pulled out a heavy handful of change, peppered with some bills.

“Wow, you must have near ten dollars.” Adam was impressed.

“Yep, mostly I put it away in the bank for Ma, but sometimes I use it for fun. Come on, let’s go inside.”

“But we can’t.”

“Oh, yes we can.” Smiling, she trotted across the street and entered the saloon by the service way at the back. Adam, tense but excited, followed closely.

“Evening, Jake. The boss around?” They were in the storage area at the back of the bar. A powerfully built man who was rolling oak kegs along the floor stopped his work and beamed a smile at her.

“Well, Little Jess, haven’t seen ‘ya fur weeks. Your Mama had you tied up?” He came over to her and embraced her like she was kin.

“Nah, it’s been pretty boring lately, but tonight, I’m showing a friend the town.” She turned to Adam and introduced him.

“Nice to meet ‘ya Adam.”

“Yes, sir, you too.” Adam felt uncomfortable. He knew his father would skin him alive if he knew where he was, but this man didn’t seem to mind them being here.

“Mind if I show Adam the bar?” Jessica smiled sweetly at Jake and he blushed a little.

“Sure, honey, you go ahead. Mind you don’t be seen by old man Stone though, or you’ll be in a peck of trouble.”

“Don’t worry. And Jake, I got some pocket money, do you think we could try a beer? It’s awful hot tonight.”  Adam tried not to gasp at her boldness.

“How much you got?” The man turned from kind friend to greedy friend as she pulled out a pile of coins.

“Well, all right, but don’t you go tellin’ nobody.”  He walked into the bar and came back with two beers, which Jessica promptly took, handing one to Adam. She then snatched Adam’s free hand and pulled him toward a back staircase. From the top landing, they had a clear view of the whole saloon.

“Look down there, Adam. This place is really crowded tonight.” Adam was immediately fascinated. It was almost like the night before, except there was no stage and no dancing girls. He sipped his beer, which he had only tried once before and grimaced at the taste of the bitter ale.

“Oh, look at all the money on the poker table. And that man who’s dealing, he’s one of the biggest crooks in town. He deals aces from the bottom of the deck.” Jessica said knowledgeably.

Adam looked at her with surprise.

“You just have to watch in this saloon for one night and you’ll find out what’s happening all over town. Look there, that’s Mr. Forest. He owns half the stores in Tucson. He makes the other businesses pay money so he won’t burn down their stores and take them over.”

“That’s against the law. Don’t they fight back?” Adam was horrified that things like that went on, and forgetting that he was supposed to be acting worldly, went on to ask endless questions of Jessica, which she was happy to answer.

The two teenagers watched and discussed the characters who went in and out of the saloon. Jessica knew all their stories.

She pointed out the town drunk, the rich powerful politicians, and the gunmen that Adam should avoid if he saw them in the street. And soon, appearing from the woodwork, some saloon girls, whom Jessica knew by name.

“Her name’s Rose. She’s got three children to feed.  Her husband died out in the California diggings and she’s trying to get home to Louisiana. And there, that’s Caroline. She’s got a temper and once knifed a man right in her bed, just for calling her a whore.”

Adam looked at Jessica with wide eyes. He was amazed at how plainly she talked about such things that his Pa would tan him for if he knew he was even thinking of them.

“How do you learn all this stuff. I think you’re making it up.” Adam frowned and sat back against the stair banister.

“I am not! Don’t forget I’ve lived in the Bird Cage for a couple of years. These are the types of people I meet all the time. Half these men know my mother.” She looked down at the floor below again, suddenly embarrassed about what she was implying. Adam didn’t say anything, so she continued.

“I suppose you find that shocking, don’t you. You probably never met anyone like my mother before, have you.”  She peeked at him sideways.

“I’ve seen plenty of saloon girls, sure.” Adam bent the truth just a touch. “And your mother, well she’s much more beautiful than any of them.” Adam felt awkward with the way the conversation was going.

“She is beautiful. And she gets the most money of any lady in town.” Jessica looked back at him, trying to show the pride she felt.

There were so many questions Adam wanted to ask about her life, but would he appear ignorant or foolish asking them? He looked back down at the bar.

“Who’s that?” He asked, as a menacing looking gentleman wearing all black walked into the bar. The noise died down instantly and the people parted to let him through. He wore spurs and eventually, the only noise they could here was the soft jingle of the metal as he stepped.

“He’s the sheriff. The only law around here for fifty miles.” Jessica gazed at him, fascinated.

“He sure looks tough.” Adam studied him from top to toe. He wore black boots, trousers, shirt, hat and a black vest and overcoat. As he turned, he noticed the sparkling silver badge on his powerful chest. It shone in stark contrast to the rest of his outfit.

“He's tough. No one messes with him. But the town’s growing too fast. Most places have lookouts, so if Sheriff Tanner is around, they simmer down ‘till he’s gone.”

Jessica slumped against the railing they were behind and continued to watch him. She couldn’t tell Adam that she’d had a crush on the sheriff for some months. She loved the way he walked and the authority he commanded. She had a secret desire, to be rescued and carried off by a man like that one day.

“I’ll bet he’s fast on the draw.” Adam commented, noticing Jessica’s admiration of him.

“The fastest. I saw him in a shoot out one day. I wasn’t supposed to be out on the street, but I hid and he shot an outlaw down like he was nothing. Cool as you please. Never even flinched a muscle.”

“You’re sweet on him.” Adam looked at her smitten face.

“I am not! He’s just, well just a real man I guess.  And he’s the law.” Jessica was embarrassed by Adam’s accurate deduction.

“He sure is impressive.” Adam looked at the man, how he controlled the room and how with just a look, everyone was happy to follow his orders. Adam made a mental note.  Intimidation using appearance was a very real tool. Maybe one day, he would command such attention and control from others.

“Come on Adam, we’d better be going. I don’t want the sheriff to catch us up here. And I’m sure your father wouldn’t want to be woken up in the middle of the night to have to come bail you out of jail.”

Adam, suddenly scared, agreed and followed Jessica back down the stairs and out into the alley. He certainly was learning about life.

They finished the beers and left the glasses near the back step. Adam hadn’t really enjoyed the drink, but he also put that down to experience.

“Come on, I’ll take you to see the governors house.”   The two teenagers walked the back streets, looking at all the buildings, watching the drunks and the street revelers for more than an hour. Easy in each other’s company, Jessica showed Adam the Governor’s mansion and the town hall. She even showed him where some of the outlaws had been hung, in the Town Square.

“Hey, I guess you know all their graves too, can you show me boot hill?” Adam, enjoying the tour, wanted to see everything.

“Sure, I know it, but I’d better not take you tonight.  It’ll be light soon.” Jessica motioned to the sky, where a hint of dawn was already starting to appear.

“Oh, yeah, I’d better get back to the hotel.” Feeling like a kid again, Adam looked down in disappointment.

“Don’t worry, we can go there tomorrow night.” She put her hand in his and started to walk through the maze of streets.

“I don’t know, Jess. My Pa’s gonna get suspicious soon, if I’m too tired during the day. I suppose I’m not used to all this nightlife.” He was ready for her to laugh at him, but she didn’t.

“I understand, Adam. It must be nice for someone to worry about you like that. My Ma doesn’t particularly care where I am.”

Adam narrowed his eyes. “But she seemed to care the other night, she fought her boss for you.”

“I know, but, well, it’s just not the same, that’s all. You know what it’s like to have a regular home and all. I’d like that one day.”

Adam felt sorry for her.  She did have a strange life that was for sure. “But, I don’t have . . .have a mother.”  Adam said the words quietly.

“I’m sorry.” Jessica turned to him and smiled sadly.  Did she die?”

Adam nodded his head. They had all died, he thought.  The pain of his most recent loss rose to the surface.

“I don’t know my father, but he’s not dead.” She spoke frankly as they walked. “That’s how Mama got to do this line of work. She was just a little older than I am now when she had me. She was from a fine family in Georgia.  They had a big cotton plantation and slaves and lots of money.” Adam pushed the memories of Marie back into his mind, as he concentrated on Jessica’s story.

“She fell in love with a boy from another wealthy family. His name was John Williams. He said he loved her and wanted to marry her. Well, when she found out she was with child, he denied everything, and her family threw her out of the house.” Jessica looked down at the ground as she walked.

Adam squeezed her hand, showing his support.

“All her friends turned their backs on her. She tried to get help from my . . . my father, but he hit her and told her she was a whore. So, then, she became one. She went to New Orleans, and a Madam took her in. She could see how beautiful my mother was and how much money she would bring when she’d had the baby. So, that’s how it all started.”

Jessica looked up at Adam, who hadn’t commented.

“I suppose you think she’s wicked too?”

Adam took his time to answer. He wanted to show his understanding.

“No, she had no choice. She had to feed you.” Adam knew the way of the world in that regard. He understood that many women were forced to lead unsavory lives because they had no husband or no other income.

“Love, that’s what ruined my mothers life she said.  She was in love with him. She says there’s no such thing, and I mustn’t ever fall for a man telling me he loves me.”  Jessica needed Adam’s opinion on this. All the women she talked to gave her the same response.

“Is that true, is love that terrible?” They had reached the street on which Adam’s hotel was located. They stopped and Jessica waited for Adam’s answer before she would let go of his hand.

“I can only speak from what I’ve seen, but I know my father loved my mother very much. He would never have left her, and he loves us - me and my brothers - very much. I couldn’t imagine him treating a woman badly.”

“What was you mother like?”  Jessica noted Adam’s handsome features and wondered what his parents looked like.

“I never knew my mother.” The words were labored.

“Oh.”

“She died when I was born.” Adam looked down, finding the topic difficult.

“But you have brothers.”

“Yes, my father married again when I was a boy. I’ve had two step mothers, they . . . they both died too.”

Jessica tried to hide the remorse on her face. That must have been hard for him, and he was the eldest.

“Oh, Adam, I’m sorry. Can you tell me about it?” Her honest, easy attitude made Adam relax and for the first time, he felt like talking about Marie’s death.

“My last step mother, Marie, she only died less than a year ago.”

Jessica watched him and noted this was difficult for him to talk about. “That must have been hard on you, and your brothers.”

“Yes, but mostly on my Pa. He loved her so much. He was distraught after she died, leaving me in charge of everything. The ranch, my brothers, everything.” His brown eyes were dark with memories.

“Did you cry for her?”

“What?” Adam, upset by the comment, shrugged his hand away in anger.

“I said, did you cry for her, or were you left to be strong for the others.”

“I don’t know what you mean. Of course I was sad and upset, what do you think.” He turned away from her.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that . . .Never mind, please forgive me. I had no right to ask that.” Jessica had a feeling he was bottling all his grief up inside and not letting it out.

“Well, I’m going in now.” He walked away from her, not wanting her to see the tears welling in his eyes as he thought about Marie.

“Tomorrow night?” She called. “I’ll show you the graves.”

“Yeah, maybe.” He called back, but before he knew it, she had run up to him and caught his arm.

“Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed taking you around. I don’t have many friends.” Her melodious voice soothed his black mood.

“I had fun too.”

Impulsively, she jumped up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek with her soft lips. Adam, embarrassed, moved back from her.

“Thank you, sweet dreams.” She smiled at him and ran off into the darkness, leaving her face imprinted in his mind and his skin burning from her touch.

Adam moved towards the hotel after a minute of stunned silence. Back in his room, Adam churned over the night’s events in his mind. He thought about the saloon, the characters, the sheriff, Jessica and her story. Then her sweet kiss. That had been the most disturbing.

He was at an age where he was attracted to girls, but wasn’t quite sure what he should do with them. He’d lived a fairly sheltered life he realized as he looked out his window at the immoral town below. Most of his teenage years so far had been filled with chores, lessons and responsibility.

He been accountable for his brothers and had missed out on girls so far. He enjoyed spending time with Jessica. She wasn’t as stuck up or as silly as some of the girls that lived near the Ponderosa. She was worldly and wise - maybe a little too much so.

As he drifted to sleep, he decided he’d like to meet her again. She was the only one he had ever spoken to about Marie, and there was so much he wanted to get off his chest about her death. Maybe Jessica would understand.

Turning over, he quickly fell asleep, hoping his father would not wake him too quickly. He was going to be tired again.
 

“Adam, are you sure you’re feeling all right? You look terrible.” Ben Cartwright sat at the breakfast table studying his son’s seedy appearance.

“I’m fine, Pa, honest.” Adam continued to eat his eggs, trying to appear normal.

“I’m not convinced. You might be coming down with a fever.” He took his hand and lay it on his son’s temple.

“Pa, I’m fine!”  Adam jerked his head away and frowned. Practically an adult, he was starting to object being treated like a child, especially in public.

“Adam!” Ben warned him softly, not willing to tolerate defiance in any form.

“It’s just the heat, Pa. It’s hard to sleep, that’s all.” Adam didn’t look his father in the eye, just continued to eat.

“Hmm, well, maybe you should stay in the hotel today.  I’m not happy about it, but it’s a long ride to the ranch that I’m going to.

“I could cool off with a water jug and try to sleep.”  Adam suddenly brightened at the thought of a whole day off away from his father. He could get a few hours sleep, then go visit Jessica in the afternoon.

“I don’t know. Ben was reluctant to leave Adam.

“Pa, I’m almost eighteen!”

“Yes, I know, still.” Ben spent several minutes making up his mind. Adam held his tongue, trying not to upset his father and ruin his chances.

“Oh, all right, you can stay here, but you must rest.” Ben looked fondly at his son and trusted him.

“I will.”

Ben left soon afterwards and told Adam he should be back around sundown. Adam did go back to his room for a while. He was tired, that had been no lie. Falling asleep on his bed, he didn’t wake again until after eleven. By that time, the room was like an oven and Adam had to tip a good portion of water over himself to rid his head of its sluggish feel.

He decided he’d go down to the Bird Cage and see if he could find Jessica, then maybe rent an extra horse for her and go for a ride to Boot Hill. One big problem was that he still didn’t have any money. He wanted to pay her back for the beer the other night. Ben assumed he had his allowance and he didn’t think he could explain what’d happened to the money without portraying a guilty look.

He would just have to add the livery rental onto his father’s bill and hope Ben didn’t notice. Also he would have to get the silence of the livery attendant, so he didn’t mention to his father that he had been out riding with a strange girl.

Adam sighed. Covering his movements was becoming more and more complicated.

Walking over the road around lunchtime, he noted how much different the dance hall looked in the day. In the bright sunlight, it seemed seedy and cheap. No customers buzzed around the entrance, making it seem deserted.

Adam avoided the doorway and headed down the south side of the building. Jessica had pointed out the small window that belonged to her modest room. It was really just a storage area and was no more than five feet wide and seven feet long. Adam had been further humbled when she’d told him this. He thought of his large, comfortable and airy room back on the Ponderosa, and reminded himself how lucky he was.

Reaching the window, he picked up a couple of small pebbles and threw them. The tapping noise soon produced a face at the glass. Jessica smiled down as she realized it was he and motioned that she would be out in a minute.  Adam, his hands strangely clammy, paced around, waiting for her to come out.

A minute or two later, she came out from the back of the building and over to him. She looked freshly groomed, her hair neatly off her face and her skin glowing.

“Morning Adam. How come you’re here in town and not with your father?”

“I’ve got the day off. Pa went out alone, so, I thought we might go for a ride down to Boot Hill and have a look.” Adam, feeling uncharacteristically nervous, looked down at the ground and kicked the dust idly with his boot.

“That sounds fine. I only just got up and Ma is still asleep. Everyone is, actually. They get up well after noon. I suppose you think that scandalous, to sleep that late?”

“Not when they work all night. They’ve got to sleep sometime.” He looked up and caught her staring. “Well, want to go out for a ride?”

“Sure, but I have to be back by six. It’s my job to get the women ready for the shows. They get real mad if I’m not around to fetch and carry for them.”

“No problem. I have to be back then anyway.”

“I’ll leave a note for Ma. You better stay out here, though.” She grinned and raced back inside the Bird Cage.  Adam, smiling also, waited patiently for her to return.

A while later, they were walking down the street, Jessica chatting happily. Adam listened on with interest.  She knew so much about life in the big city. She knew entertaining stories and colorful characters. His own life seemed dull in comparison.

He managed to get a horse for her without too much bother. The Livery attendant was totally disinterested in him, as he was involved in a game of poker with two other men. He hastily got Adam two horses and returned to the game. Adam might even be as lucky as to not have the extra rental turn up on his father’s bill. Things were certainly going his way.

It was a short ride out to boot hill, where Adam immediately starting asking a heap of questions about all the graves. Jessica was happy to embellish and sensationalize some of the stories for him, making it sound more colorful than it probably ever was. They spent a couple of hours walking amongst the headstones, pointing out the notorious murderers and famous inhabitants.

The sun was blazing down as they finished the last row.

“Adam, you hot? I know a wash not far from here that still has water. We could cool off. There’s even a couple of trees for shade.” Jessica wiped her brow, clearly wilting from the direct sun.

“Sure, that’d be great. How can you stand to live down here in the summer, it must be murder.”

“It very often is!” Jessica laughed at her own pun.  “Didn’t you notice on the headstones, most of the murders are committed in the summer?”

Adam smiled, as he realized she was right. They made their way back to the horses, and Jessica lead the way to the stream she knew.

Now, like old friends, Adam felt comfortable telling Jessica about his family and in particular his younger brothers.

“It must be lovely to have brothers. You’ve always got someone around to do things with.” Jessica commented as they reached the stream.

“Yeah, I guess. But sometimes they’re a pain in the neck. Joe is still too young to be very stimulating company and I usually have to look after him, when I’d rather be out with my own friends.”

“Still, things would be dull without them, wouldn’t they?”

“Yeah, I suppose they would. Especially in winter, when we’re snowed in.”

“That would be great! I’ve seen snow on the mountains and stuff, but never had to live in it.”

“It’s annoying when you have to shovel it all the time. Say, maybe when your mother leaves here, you could come visit us. You’d love the Ponderosa, and we have this huge lake to go swimming in and fishing on."

“I’d love to visit.” Jessica smiled and took off her boots and stockings. Adam followed suit and soon they were wading in the water, happy at first just to go up to their knees.

Then, Jessica splashed out at Adam, who immediately retaliated. Soon they were both splashing wildly and soaked to the skin. Jessica laughed so hard she fell into the water and got soaked. Adam laughed at her and almost fell in too, trying to help her up.

“Adam, pick me up, my dress weighs a ton when it’s wet,” she complained.

“We’d better dry off.” Adam caught her under her knees and behind her back and carried her back to the bank.

Jessica was surprised at how effortlessly he lifted her. She also wondered at her reaction. Her breathing quickened and her skin tingled where he brushed her. As he set her down on the ground, she avoided his eyes and started to wring out her dress. She knew her face was flushed with embarrassment but didn’t quite understand why.

Adam watched her, experiencing an unusual uneasiness in his gut.

“At least we should dry in no time in this heat.” Adam turned and walked over to a large flat rock, puzzled by his reactions to her.

Jessica watched him and hesitantly followed. She was being ridiculous. It was only Adam. How could she justify feeling unsettled in his company?

“Here, sit down beside me.” Adam motioned to the rock and she obeyed, busying herself with fanning out her skirts.

“Knew I should have worn riding clothes,” she mumbled, suddenly short of conversation.

“I think you look much prettier in a dress.” The words slipped out of Adam’s mouth before he knew what he was saying.

She muttered a shy “thanks” and continued to avoid looking straight at him. They sat in silence for several minutes before Jessica spoke again.

“Tell me about the Ponderosa again, Adam. It sounds so beautiful.”

Adam thought about his home and leaned back on the rock, one arm on it’s surface. He lost himself in memories that he shared with Jessica.

“It’s green most of the year. Lush grass, tall pines.  The scent of the trees runs through you, sort of like a tonic. Lake Tahoe is as large as the whole ranch almost.  Its water is as blue as you’ve ever seen. But the water is icy cold.

And it’s surrounded by Snowcapped Mountains. I have a favorite spot. I like to go sit there, sometimes and read.  It’s peaceful.” Adam stopped as a memory of Marie came back to him.

Jessica looked over at him. His dark eyes looked troubled. “Adam, what are you thinking about?”

“Oh, just . . . nothing.”

“Tell me.” Jessica had enjoyed hearing about the ranch and wanted him to share more with her.

“Just my stepmother, Marie. That’s . . . that’s where we buried her. Out on that rise, overlooking the lake. She liked it there.” He spoke quietly; somberly.

“What was she like?”

“She was kind and generous but had a real temper. We didn’t get on so good when she first married Pa. I gave her a real hard time. But then after Little Joe was born, she really became part of the family.”

He lay down flat on the rock, looking up into the sky.  He found it difficult to continue.

“I don’t know, well . . . .if she knew . . .that I loved her. I did, deep down. Guess I never did tell her . . .then it was too late.”

Jessica heard the cold, detached tone in his voice and wondered if he really had come to terms with her death.

“I’m sure she knew you loved her. I don’t tell my Ma that I love her very much, but she knows.”

Adam turned his head and looked up into her hazel eyes. “But I said some pretty hurtful things to her over the years. I didn’t make it easy for her.”

“Even so, I’m sure there are many good times you can think of, when you were close.” Jessica hesitantly placed a comforting hand on his. “She knew, Adam.” She squeezed his hand tight.

That simple gesture seemed to snap the thin thread inside Adam’s heart. Strong for so long, he needed reassurance. “You believe that?”

Jessica, mesmerized by his dark, passionate eyes, also leaned down and smiled.

“Yes, I do. You must believe it too.”

“I . . .I . . .want to but . . .” He looked into her sweet face and comforting eyes.

“It’s true, Adam.” In an instinctive move, she reached her hand up to his cheek, and touched it to the damp skin at the corner of his eye.

Shrugging her hand away, he sat up and turned his back to her, embarrassed by his show of emotion. “Leave me alone!”

Jessica shrank back and swallowed nervously. “I’m sorry, Adam. I only wanted to help.” She tentatively raised her fingers and rubbed his shoulder, feeling the tension in his well-honed muscles.

He started to pull away, then turned back to her. She too had tears glistening in her eyes and he immediately felt guilty for making her upset.

“Sorry, Jess. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Adam felt bad and put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close.

She leaned against his chest, wanting him to forgive her for being so pushy. Being so close to him again disturbed her. She felt the heat of his body against her, and the thud of his heart through his shirt.

“It’s all right. I know how you must feel. I was angry too when I realized that my father didn’t want me. Didn’t even acknowledge that I was alive.”

Adam rubbed her arm, thinking that he had a lot more to be grateful for than he sometimes admitted. “It’s okay, Jess.”

They stayed together on the rock, lost in their own thoughts and comforted by each other’s embrace. They remained silent, not sure where their feelings were taking them.

“Jess, it’s time we were heading back.” Adam spoke much later, as he watched the sun sink in the sky.

“Yeah, I guess.” Reluctant to move away from him, Jessica too looked up, trying to figure out if she would be late.

“Hey, you dry?” Adam asked, worried that she might catch a chill.

“Sure, almost except for, well, underneath.” She giggled in a child like way and Adam joined in. Caught in the strange void, between child and adult, both of them moved apart awkwardly.

As they walked back to the horses, Adam thought about Jessica. He liked being with her, but her presence was making him increasingly nervous. He helped her up onto her horse, trying to avoid eye contact. He was being foolish.  There was nothing wrong with being fond of her, surely.

They galloped back to town quickly; both worried about being late. Adam put the horses into the livery stable and checked to see if his father’s horse was back. It wasn’t.  He then walked Jessica back to the Bird Cage, where her mother was waiting anxiously at the back entrance for her.

“Jessica, where have you been. The girls are yelling for you. You know if you don’t upkeep your job, Manning will be on my back again.”

“Sorry, Ma. We lost track of the time.” She fiddled nervously with her skirt. “Ma, you remember Adam from the other night?”

Delilah looked over at Adam who hovered nervously behind Jessica, hoping to get away quickly.

“Yes, I do. How are you, Adam?” She smiled down at him, making him blush.

“Fine, thank you, ma’am. Sorry, it was my fault we were late.”

“How gallant. You want to come in for a while? Have some lemonade?”

“Oh, no ma’am, thank you. I have to be getting back.”

“Come on, Adam. Just for a minute. Your Pa wasn’t back yet. You must be real thirsty, cause I am.” Adam felt cornered, as he was indeed thirsty. Also, he was intensely curious about where the ladies lived and what kind of conditions they put up with.

“Okay, just for a minute.” He followed them both in the back and studied the living quarters with a critical eye.

“What about that owner guy, won’t he be around?”

“Manning? No, he never arrives until show time, which is around 9pm. It’s just the girls here now.”

Jessica caught his hand and pulled him along a dingy corridor. There was a communal kitchen in the back, which must have served for the dozen or so woman who lived there.  It was tidy and surprisingly homey. Jessica got down two chipped mugs and poured freshly made lemonade out for Adam and her.

“He drank the liquid quickly, worried about his father and where he was. Just then, two women walked into the kitchen, in varying stages of undress. Adam almost choked on his drink as they approached Jessica without a care that he was in the room.

Their underthings were mostly see-through and their bodies were almost on full view to him. He turned away in embarrassment.

“Jessica, there you are! We’ve been having a terrible time trying to get these stockings straight.

“And my corset’s not tight enough.”

“Sorry, Bessie, Connie. I’ll come and help now.

“So, this is your little boyfriend you’ve been runnin’ around with?” Connie, a dark haired English girl, sidled up to him and looked him over, causing Adam even more discomfort.

“This is Adam, and he’s just a friend.” Jessica raised a scowl at Connie’s assumption.

“He’s a good lookin’ friend, ain’t he, Bess?”

“Hmm, not bad at all. Nice and young. You can train ‘em at that age.” They both brushed up against Adam and ran their hands along his arms, feeling his underlying strength.

Adam tried valiantly to remain calm, but found his body overheating with their advances. He had to leave, and fast.

“Sorry, Jess, ladies, I have to get going.” Adam slammed his mug down onto the bench and backed out from their grasp, hurrying towards the door.

“Oh, you really have to go?” Connie pouted as he pushed past her.

“Um, yeah. See you later, Jess.” He tipped his hat and rushed out, leaving the door swinging behind him.

“Thanks a lot, you two. Now he’ll be too scared to come again.” Jessica felt like yelling at them. There was many a time she hated living with these types of women.

“Ah, don’t you worry, Jess. As long as you want him, we won’t touch him. That is, unless he’s got money.”

They laughed at their hurtful joke, at which Jessica felt like hitting them. Still, she needed their tips. So she kept her thoughts to herself and went to work. She had made up her mind to save as much money as quickly as possible so she and her mother could leave sooner.

She wanted to start her new, clean life. Perhaps visit Nevada and see Adam’s home. She wanted it more and more every minute she knew him.

Adam took deep breaths as he crossed the road back to The Palace. He had just learned what it meant to be overpowered by a woman. His morals and his body were at odds with one another. All thoughts of his father had flown completely out the window, as he struggled to get the image of their bodies out of his mind. As he flew up the stairs of the hotel, he was shocked to hear the annoyed voice of his father call sternly to him from behind.

“Adam? Where have you been?”

Adam closed his eyes as if in pain and wished he was anywhere but here. He couldn’t face Pa now.  Not right this minute. The conflict in his head was torture enough.

“Hi Pa.” He half turned on the stairs and looked back down. Ben still wore his coat and had obviously just returned. If only he had come straight back without stopping for a drink.

“Hello, son. Where have you been?” Ben repeated the statement and walked up to Adam’s level on the staircase.

“Just out for a ride Pa, I slept real good this morning, and I decided to go out and have a look at Boot Hill.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. He looked up at his father, who was clearly suspicious.

“Hmm, well, looks like you’re feeling much better. I expect you to come with me for the remainder of the visits, and I want you to pick the stock tomorrow. I expect your full input as at tomorrow morning, understand?”

“Sure Pa. I’ll be fine.”

“You look a little flushed. That sun burns.” Ben looked hard into Adam’s eyes once more.

“Yeah, I guess I’m a little burnt.”

“Supper is in half an hour. I want to go over what we’ve seen so far, and I expect your ideas on the cattle we should purchase.”

Ben left him and went upstairs. Adam sighed with relief. His father was right. Adam hadn’t been at all interested in the cattle since arriving. He should take time with his father and concentrate on the job at hand instead of going out. He’d had enough of the Bird Cage for a little while. He wished he could bring Jessica into the hotel and sit and chat with her in the parlor. He liked her company immensely.

He sat with his father for the rest of the evening and went over the strategy for the purchase. They had three more ranches to visit, then they would make decisions on which bull to buy and go back and negotiate prices.

Ben was much happier at the end of the evening and Adam felt more at ease too. That night in his bed, he tried not to think about the ladies he had seen. Instead, he focused on Jessica and the day they’d spent together. He liked her more and more all the time. She was intelligent and interesting to talk to.

Not to mention pretty.

Much prettier than the two women who’d leered all over him in the kitchen. It was true that they’d evoked a physical response from him, but it was an empty response with no real meaning.

Adam wasn’t entirely sure, but he had a feeling that falling in love with someone was kind of like that. Kind of like wanting to be with them as you wanted to be with friends, as well as wanting to be with them physically. He thought about that until sleep overtook him.

When he woke the next morning, he realized he’d slept right through. He hoped he hadn’t disappointed Jessica by not turning up at midnight, but then again, they had spent the afternoon together. All of a sudden, he couldn’t wait to see her again that night.

It was a good thing he had a full night sleep, as the day he and Ben spent was busy and demanding. They visited two Haciendas, and Adam had to do all the negotiating. At the end of the day, Ben was pleased with Adam’s choices and allowed him to bargain for several of the cattle.

Once back in the hotel that night, Ben surprised his son by saying they would go out on the town for a while and look around. Adam hoped his father would not want to visit the Lucky Saloon, as the bartender might recognize him.

They had dinner at a Mexican Cantina and wandered the streets. Adam remembered much of the areas from two nights before when Jessica had showed him around. Ben didn’t like the look of much of the city, as the drunken cowboys started to fill the streets.

He decided to retire to bed around eleven, which left Adam sitting by his window, waiting for his father to fall asleep and for the clock to strike twelve.

When it did, he was waiting for Jessica behind the saddler’s store. He watched and wondered if she would appear, a peculiar churning in his belly.

“Hi.”

He heard her voice and turned with a smile. She was standing in the shadows.

“Hi” Adam body jolted with a strange energy as she emerged and stood close to him.

“I thought maybe you wouldn’t come.” Jessica’s voice had an unusual wobble to it, as if she was nervous.

“I fell asleep last night. I guess the late nights just caught up with me.” Adam looked down at her intently.

“Are you all right?” He noted her eyes shining a little too much. Was she crying?

“I’m fine.”

But she wasn’t; that was plain. Adam reached for her hand and enclosed his fingers around it.

“It’s not that man again, is it? He hasn’t hurt you, has he?” Adam felt his anger mount as he thought of Manning’s treatment of Jessica and her mother.

“No, no. I said, I’m fine.” She took a deep breath and looked up at Adam, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“Then, what is it?”

His deep, soft voice was her undoing and she turned away from his searching gaze. “I wish, I guess I wish I was away from here. I don’t like living the way I do. I don’t like the people I have to put up with. I wish I lived in a regular home, like you do. Sometimes, I think my mother has no intention of leaving. She seems almost addicted to this life.”

Adam looked at Jessica, realizing that she had probably had an argument with her mother and was not really sure how to comfort her. It must be hard, but he had no real solution apart from the way she was handling it now.

“Come on. Let’s go for a walk. We might come up with a plan and it’ll take your mind off it for a while.” He touched his hand to her shoulder and she turned back toward him again.

“That would be nice, Adam.” She smiled and brightened.  “I thought, maybe after those girls the other day, you might be scared off.” She chuckled nervously.

“Nah, they didn’t bother me. I know you don’t have any choice where you live. Sometimes, you’ve just got to make the most of a situation.”

They fell into an easy step along side one another, roaming the streets of the city, talking about lots of things. Adam felt good. As they walked, their arms would sometimes brush together, shooting a tingling feeling through him.

Eventually, he got up the courage to take her hand in his, and they walked that way for quite a while. After an hour or so, Jessica pointed out a big deserted looking building on the edge of town.

“Adam, that’s the old feed store. There were two in town and this one went broke. It’s huge inside and it’s got lofts and ropes and everything. Want to see?”

“Sure.” The child in them came out as they went in through a hole in the wall and explored the old building.  There were several oil lamps lying around and they lit one.

“Boy, it’s huge. Bigger than our house, almost.” Adam looked up at the high ceiling.

“Your house is this big?” Jessica answered in amazement.

“Well, kind of.” Adam smiled down, feeling guilty for his comment.

“That must be nice.”

“Yeah, but we have to do a lot of chores to keep it tidy.”

“I’ll bet.” Jessica laughed at him and walked along to the front. “See, up there, that’s where they hauled the bails in.”

They spent a while exploring, then climbing up to the loft, looking around up there. Jessica picked a spot on the hay and sat down.

“I used to come here with a girl called Hattie. She was younger than me and I used to scare her silly with ghost stories.” She giggled as she thought about the memories.

“Yeah? Know any good ones?” Adam sat down beside her and set the lamp down away from the dry straw.

“Plenty, but you might get scared.” She teased him and laughed at his disgusted look.

“Yeah, right. As if. Come on, you tell one, then I’ll tell one. I’ll bet I can make you real frightened.”

Jessica couldn’t resist the challenge, so in the eerie dull light, she wove a tale, which Adam had to admit, made him a little jumpy.

When she was done, Adam made up a fantastic tale called the Ghost of the Ponderosa. Jessica was taken in and hung on every word as he made it sound so realistic. At the climax, he made out that a ghost had opened his door and hovered in around his bed, paralyzing him with fear.

Jessica clutched nervously at his arm as he finished with a loud roar, which he said the ghost produced before disappearing. Jessica half screamed and grabbed him around the chest in fear.

Adam laughed out loud as he realized he had succeeded in scaring the daylights out of her.

“Adam Cartwright, you’re hateful.” She tried to be mad, but didn’t quite want to let him go as the surroundings now made her feel uneasy.

“Don’t worry, that ghost is hundreds of miles away.  He won’t get you, but there might be another one . . .”
 

He was amused by her shaking form and then started to feel bad. Was she really scared?

“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you like that.” She tipped her head up to look at him and attempted a nervous smile.

“You didn’t, not really.”

Adam glanced over her face and felt the strange sensations inside again. He was reacting to her nearness.  He felt hot all over and nervous.

He wanted to kiss her.

“Adam?”

“Yeah, Jess.”

“Do you want, well, want to . . .kiss me?” Jessica’s hazel eyes shinned in the darkness, this time with anticipation of the unknown. She had seen many of the women in the Bird Cage kiss men, of course, but it had all looked like a chore and unpleasant to her until now. The women said later, they never enjoyed it. Except for Sue, she seemed to enjoy everything. But right now, her body was reacting to Adam in an unexpected way. She wanted to feel what it was like.

“I, I think so.” Hormones and curiosity took over, as Adam lowered his head towards hers. As he touched his lips tentatively to hers, he felt a surge of excitement run through his torso. Her lips were the softest thing he had ever felt, and having her face, her eyes so close to him defused his control.

Jessica felt the tingle of sensation sprinkle across her skin like cool rain. Adam shifted and wrapped his arms around her, making her feel safe. He was gentle and so careful with her.

She liked the feel of his lips and pressed a bit harder, wanting more. He responded, opening his mouth a little. She did the same and soon they were kissing more intently.

Adam’s control left him. It was one of the most intense feelings he had ever experienced in his short life.  He ran his fingers up to her hair and felt the silky softness in his fingers. Her body pressed against his, making his blood run hot.

Finally, out of breath, and stunned by his reactions to her, he broke away from her and looked at the dreamy expression on her face. Her eyes were closed.

“Jessica?”

She opened her eyes and looked wondrously at him.

“Boy, I never did realize it was like that!” she reddened.

“Boy it’s hot in here, isn’t it?” Adam was nervous.  He couldn’t control these new urges in his body. He knew it was wrong to be here, alone with Jessica and kissing her, but he couldn’t help wanting to.”

“Yeah, hot all right. Jessica, blushing profusely, lowered her head. Adam’s sensuous kisses made her sweaty all over.

“Maybe we should head back to the hotel. It’s getting late. Come on, let’s go.”

“No, wait, I . . . I don’t want to go back there, not yet. Tell me more about the Ponderosa,” Jessica pleaded.

“Well, . . . I . . . okay.”

Adam took a deep breath and tried to bring his emotions back under control. It was hard as Jessica leaned against him and lay her head on his shoulder.

“The Ponderosa, well, it’s . . .”

Adam began to talk and soon, they were both transported to the pleasant world of Tahoe’s shimmering shores. Jessica found comfort in his voice and his arms as he methodically stroked her shoulders. They soon became drowsy, and before too long, both the teenagers were sleeping soundly in each other’s arms.
 

Hoss knocked on the door to Adam’s room, wondering why it was taking him so long to get ready. Eventually, his elder brother opened the door. He still hadn’t finished dressing.  Adam’s shirt was unbuttoned and his silk tie hung limply around his collar.

“Hey, brother, the evening is a wasting away. What you been doin’, anyhow?”

Not waiting for an answer, Hoss walked in and over to the window. He saw the activity across the street and wondered what it was all about.

“Hey, Adam, what’s that funny lookin’ building over there? Looks like a dance hall of some sort.”

Adam walked up behind him and gazed at the Bird Cage again. The memories swirled heavily in his head.

“Yeah, it’s a dance hall all right. A notorious one at that.” Hoss looked at Adam, wondering at his sarcastic tone.

“You wanna take a look?” Hoss eyed his brother keenly.  He didn’t get much of an opportunity to have a big night out in Virginia City.

 “No. I don’t really feel like that kind of entertainment, but you go.” Adam turned away from the window and set about doing his shirt up.

“Ah, no. I’d rather do what you want.”

Adam looked at Hoss, who had plain disappointment written all over his face. Adam didn’t particularly want to enter that building again, but for Hoss, he would make an exception.

“Okay, just for a while. You might get a little overheated, though.”

“Huh?” Hoss wasn’t sure what Adam meant, but he had been in dance halls before. Sure, the woman always made him a little nervous, but he enjoyed their singing and dancing.  He was a red-blooded man, after all.

“Never mind, come on.” Adam finished tying his ribbon tie and picked up his black hat and dress coat from the bed.

“Boy, you sure do look dandy in that outfit. Them girls is gonna be all over you.” Hoss laughed at his brother’s appearance.

“You look fine in that new waistcoat you’ve got on. You better watch out yourself.”

“Heck, them girls always go for a man wearin’ black.  Tell me, is that why you wear it all the time, brother?”

Hoss meant it as a teasing joke, but it put Adam back into the world of his youth again.

Why did he wear it? He remembered the night in the Lucky Saloon, watching Jessica swoon over that Sheriff.  Adam now commanded the respect of others. His daunting, dark image creating a mystique around him few could penetrate. Maybe that was why.

He followed Hoss out, thinking back to the morning after the night he and Jessica had fallen asleep in the loft. It had turned out to be one of the worst days of his life.
 
 

“Adam! Adam, wake up!”

“What?” Adam sat bolt upright, startled by Jessica’s sharp yell.

“It’s light, we fell asleep.  You’re going to be in big trouble!”

Adam absorbed her words quickly and felt sick to the stomach. It was indeed light. Way past the time his father would have come to awaken him for the day’s work.

“Oh, no. I’m going to be in trouble for sure.” Adam hastily bushed the hay from his clothes, helping Jessica do the same. Then, they both clambered down from the loft and ran all the way back to the Palace hotel. Jessica, barely keeping up, said a quick goodbye as Adam hurried across the road. Maybe, he could tell his father, he had been up early, for a ride. Yes, that was it! He stopped at the door, and caught his breath. He should try to act calm and collected.

He walked up the stairs avoiding the curious look from the desk clerk and went to his room. As he opened the door, the sight of his father, sitting in the chair greeted him.  His face looked like thunder.

“Pa, Hi, I thought I’d get up early for once and go for a ride. It’s a beautiful morning outside.” He attempted a smile, but Ben was having none of it.

“Oh, a ride? Funny how you didn’t take your horse with you.” Adam felt the blood drain from his face. Lying was his father’s pet hate. He’d obviously already checked to see if his horse was in the livery.

“Actually, I walked for most of the time.”

“Since midnight?”

Adam wanted the floor to swallow him up. His father knew he had been gone all night! How would he ever explain it?

“I. . . .I . . .”

“Yes? I’m waiting.” Ben had been stewing on this for hours. Ever since he’d decided to look in on Adam the night before when he couldn’t sleep. Finding his son gone, and his bed not slept in, Ben had worried. Then as he sat and waited and waited, he became more and more angry.

He knew his son was old enough to make his own decisions now, but this kind of behavior was too much for Ben to allow. Adam had to learn responsibility. Going out all night was affecting his ability to do his job.

Also, it was a hazardous city. Adam could handle a gun all right, but Ben didn’t want him getting into a situation where he might have to use it. In Ben’s opinion, he was still very much a child when it came to guns and fights and dangerous men.

“Pa, I’m seventeen, almost eighteen. I think that entitles me to begin to make my own way in life.” Adam knew it was time to stand up to his father, otherwise he would always be treated like a child.

“Not when it affects your work. Is this why you’ve been so tired? Because you’re running around the town at night?” Ben stood up to his full height, level with his son and walked up to him. Thank goodness, he couldn’t smell whiskey on his breath.

“I accept that I should be alert for work, but the rest of the time is my own. And I want to do with it as I choose.”

“So, are you going to tell me where you’ve been?” Ben’s eyes were like shining black opals.

Adam challenged him with a stare of his own.

“Don’t tell me you’ve been in that whore house across the street?”

Adam’s skin prickled with heat, but not for the reason his father might imagine.

“You have, haven’t you? Boy, if you¾”

“No, I haven’t been there, not like you think. But I’ve met someone, a girl who, well who lives there. Her mother works there. But, Jessica, she’s decent. She doesn’t like her life. We just talk and walk around the city.  You’d like her.”

Adam knew his father was furious with him. He backed up, scared of his father’s wrath.

“You dare to go out all night, with a girl from that, that, place and think it’s all right? Son, did I not bring you up in a proper way?” Ben’s voice brimmed with anger.

“You’ve got it wrong, Pa. Jessica is decent. She’s not like you think.”

“Oh, no? She lives with prostitutes and every bit of scum from society. Don’t you think that may influence her thinking, just a little?”

Ben was surprised that Adam would be interested in a girl from that sort of background.

Adam was surprised that his father would be this narrow-minded.

“She hates it there. Her mother is saving money to get away. They’re going away to live in a new town. Where they can live a suitable life.”

Ben looked hard at Adam and realized he was defending this girl in spite of the trouble it might bring him. He wondered whether Adam had already got himself into more trouble than he could handle. Had he been alone with her, all night? Ben felt the blood drain from his face.

“How old is this girl.” Ben crossed his arms and spoke softly.

“She’s fifteen.”

“Did you . . . spend the night with her?”

Adam shuffled from one foot to the other. How was he going to answer that? It was kind of true, in a way. He spoke quickly, as if the devil was on his tail.

“Yes, but, well, not like you think. Jessica didn’t want to go back to the Bird Cage. She hates it there, so we went walking, and ended up in that old storage building.  We talked a while, then fell asleep. Nothing happened. You can believe me, Pa.” Adam met his father’s furious gaze with honesty.

Ben took a deep breath and noticed his own fists were clenched hard enough to make his skin turn white. This was a very bad situation. His anger reached a peak. His voice betrayed his feelings as Adam expected the roof to fall from the high decibels.

“Adam, I can’t believe you were stupid enough to stay out all night with a girl. Do you realize how that could turn out? You could be forced into marriage or blackmail, or anything.”

“Oh, come on Pa. That’s not the way it was, I told you.”

“Yes, you told me, and I’m telling you. You’d better not even think about seeing that girl again, or going over to that place, understand me?”

“But Pa!” Adam’s temper came to the fore as well. His father was being entirely unreasonable.

“Understand me?” Ben’s powerful voice reverberated around the room.

“I understand you’re being totally unreasonable. You

don’t know about Jessica, or her situation. You won’t

believe me or allow me to make my own decisions, even though you found me responsible enough to look after you and my brothers when you fell apart after Marie’s death.”  Adam’s rage poured out the callous words and he regretted them straight away as Ben’s face turned ashen with the unpleasant memory.

“Sorry, Pa.” Adam mumbled. He’d gone too far. He watched his father closely and braced himself for the worst.

Ben felt as if Adam had hit him. He didn’t know where such insolence had come from. If he’d stood back a pace or two and looked at the whole thing subjectively, he would have realized that Adam was growing into a man, and the time had come for him to take a new path. But he couldn’t see that. He looked at his eldest son with disgust and shame and strode out of the room, lest he hurt him.

As he walked through the door, he swiveled and stared Adam down.

“I’ll only say this once. You’re here for work. I except you to be ready in thirty minutes. If you dare venture out without me again, we will gather our things and head straight back for Nevada. Do you hear me?”

Adam wanted to continue the argument. But the look in his father’s face made him back down. He wanted his father’s trust and respect, even if he was angry with this issue.

“Do you hear me?” Ben waited, watching his son make the mental decision.

“I hear you.” Ben turned and walked away.

Adam slumped on the bed and rubbed his eyes. He’d ruined everything. The good relationship he had with his father and his friendship with Jessica. The crazy part was, he’d done nothing wrong. All he’d done was go out after dark and talk with a friend.

Maybe if his father could meet Jessica, he would see she wasn’t like the other women in the Bird Cage. But how would he arrange that? He was restricted now to the hotel and to his work. He had to find some way. He washed and got ready for the day’s work, hoping to figure out a plan to save the situation, and make his father see he could still be trusted.

The two Cartwright’s spent much of the day in stony silence. Adam made suggestions on cattle and Ben ignored him. On their way back to Tucson, Ben announced that they’d seen enough cattle and he was going to make his decision on the purchase the following day. He would organize the various ranches to drive them to Nevada in a small herd, and then they would leave the day after that.

Adam was ready to argue again, but thought better of it. He might not even see Jessica again at this rate.  There was nothing to do, but to sneak out tonight and tell her goodbye. He didn’t care if he was caught. Nothing would stop him.

He waited until almost 1am. His father had checked him at ten then again just after midnight, but Adam didn’t think he’d come in again. Not that he cared. His only thought was to see Jessica and tell her he was going. He wanted to be with her, just for a little while. His feelings towards her were growing stronger all the time.

He dressed and strode boldly down the hotel stairs, not caring if he was seen. It was Saturday night and there were even more men out in the street than on previous nights. The queue at the Bird Cage was massive.

Out front of the entrance, Adam recognized the boss, Manning whom had beaten up Delilah. He was making an announcement of some kind. Curious, Adam sidled up along side the building and listened in.

“Now, gentlemen, I hope you’ve brought full purses tonight, as this is a very rare event in this day and age.  She’s young and ripe for the picking, just waiting for one of you handsome men to show her how it’s done.” A round of cheers, yells and applause broke out. Adam was puzzled, as he’d come in on the end of the speech.

“Come on in boys, and get ready for the auction!”  Crowds began to pour through the door. Adam, feeling  apprehensive, caught the sleeve of one patron and asked him what was going on.

“They’s holdin’ a virgin for auction tonight. This is gonna be one heck of a sale. If you wanna show, you betta ask your Daddy for some pocket money.” The man laughed in his face and pushed his way through the crowd.

Adam felt ill. Surely this didn’t involve Jessica.  Was Manning forcing her into this? He remembered her telling him that Manning wanted to sell her. He ran to the place they usually met, but there was no sign of her.  Panicked, he rushed to the back entrance of the brothel.  The door was locked, so he proceeded around to Jessica’s window and threw grit at the glass.

She didn’t appear. He was really worried now. More and more he felt that she was in some kind of danger.

Putting himself at risk, he ran back to the rear door and banged on it. Maybe, just maybe one of the girls he’d met would open it. He waited for several minutes then tried it again. Eventually, he heard the bolt draw back and the door opened. Inside stood the English girl from the other day.

“Well, if it ain’t Jess’s little boyfriend.”

“Where is she?” Adam rushed in and grabbed the woman by the shoulder. He towered over her and a measure of fear touched her eyes.

“Now, don’t you fret none. She’s just fine, now anyways.”

“Tell me what’s happening!” His voice was dark, menacing and measured.

Connie wondered where the boy of the previous day had gone, as this was a dark, angry and dangerous man that held her.

“It’s all proper and legal like. Delilah’s signed the form to say she’s Manning’s now.”

“What’s he going to do with her?” Adam applied more pressure and Connie had a job not to cry out in pain.

“He’s auctioning her off to the crowd. The highest bidder gets her, for all night.”

“What?” Adam dropped his arm down, shocked by the news.

“Manning struck a bargain with Delilah.” Connie rubbed her shoulder and backed away from him.

“Delilah wouldn’t do that to her. She wouldn’t.”

“You don’t know all of it. Delilah was angry with Jessica for staying out with you all night. She figures she’s ruined now anyway. This is Jessica’s punishment.”  Connie looked at him in triumph.

“I don’t understand.”

“Jessica told her mother she loved you and wanted to leave when you did. Delilah was real angry. She said, love ruined her life and there was no way Jessica would run around after you and ruin hers. She may as well get top dollar for her and be done with it.”

“I have to see Jessica.”

“Oh, no you don’t.” It was another voice from the background.

Adam peered into the dark and noticed Delilah’s honey blonde tresses shimmering from the shadows.

“Why are you doing this to her?  You said you would never let this happen.” Adam watched the woman as she emerged from the hallway.

“This is a lesson she should have learned two years ago. I was fooling myself, thinking I could keep her from men, from their lies and from their beds.”

Adam noticed she was slurring slightly, obviously drunk to some degree. As she came into full view, he saw dark and angry bruising around both her eyes and her mouth.  He gasped.

“I don’t know what you think we’ve done. We’re just good friends, nothing more. Jessica hasn’t done anything wrong. She doesn’t deserve this . . . this cattle auction.  This is her life you’re playing with.”

“And you, young man, you don’t think you’ve been playing with her? Telling her wonderful stories about life with your family, out on a rich spread, filling her head with hopes and dreams when all the time you know she is destined to a life of poverty and misery? That’s more cruel.” Delilah turned ugly.

“She could have all those things one day if you packed up and both walked out of here tonight. My father has influence. We could get you away from here. Take you to a new city, where you could have a fresh start like you told Jessica you would. That’s what she really wants.

She’s not in love with me; she’s in love with the idea of having a stable home and family and friends. She thought you were about to provide that at long last.” Adam trained his dark eyes on hers, trying to read her thoughts.

“And she believed me? Well, there’s no getting away now. Manning got my money, like he said he would. If you hadn’t butted in the other night, he might have backed down, but no, you made him all the more determined to get us.”

Adam swallowed. Could it have been his fault? Had he interfered with something that was never his business?

“It doesn’t matter about the money. My father will let you come back with us anyway.” Adam wasn’t sure about that, but he had to try something.

“Stop it, boy. Jessica is resigned to her fate. You should have thought about it before you took her out all night into that shed. If you don’t want the law on you, you better leave now. Besides, I already told her you called and said you weren’t coming back.”

“What?” Adam shaking with anger at this bizarre situation grabbed Delilah’s arms and slammed her back into the wall. She laughed as Adam held her in place.

“You men, all you understand is violence. I told Jess that too. She doesn’t understand yet, but she soon will.”  Delilah laughed and laughed, and slid down the wall from her drunkenness.

“I’m not going to let this happen.” Adam spoke calmly and evenly.

Just as he was about to run into the back stage area, Manning strode through the door and found him.

“Who are you?” The big man’s eyes narrowed, as he looked Adam up and down. Adam wished he’d worn his gun. He was in a dangerous situation. This was not a man who would think twice about killing him.

“This is the boyfriend, darling.” Delilah picked herself up off the floor and weaved over to Manning, wrapping her arms about him.

Adam almost choked with disgust. How could he have been so wrong about the sincerity of Jessica’s mother?  No wonder Jessica wanted to get away.

“Ah, ha! So, this is the cuss who almost cost me a small fortune.” Manning brushed Delilah aside and walked across to Adam.

“He wants to take her away. Imagine that, he wants the daughter of a whore. Don’t think Daddy’s going to approve of that.” Delilah giggled and clutched the wall for support.

Adam grimaced at her actions. She was a whore all right. She might not have started that way, but she sure had ended up like it. Now, she was trying to turn her daughter into one, because she’d made a tragic mistake in her life. Jessica shouldn’t have to pay for her mother’s sins.

He told them all as much, but they just laughed at him. Manning grabbed him by the throat and held him aloft.

“You listen good boy, the only way you’ll get her now is if you got a pocket full of gold to pay for her with.  She’s going to be my star attraction, seeing as how Delilah’s had to retire. Now, you get out of here, before I have a mind to kill you.” He released Adam and shoved him toward the door.

“No, Manning, wait. How about we let him watch. Put him out there, in the crowd. He’ll see everything, watch the auction. Teach him a lesson about life.” Delilah laughed with venom.

“Hey, good idea. How about that, boy, want to see your girl get sold?” Manning grabbed him again and hauled him towards the backstage area. There were half a dozen stairs down to the main floor, and Manning pushed Adam down them with force. He would have landed headfirst, only the crowd was so large, the people jammed around the bottom broke his fall.

Adam steadied himself and looked up to the stage. He tried to climb back up the stairs, but two pairs of burley arms grabbed him from behind and held him tight. From the wings, he saw Manning’s treacherous grin. Adam felt sick.  Then, Manning strode out onto the stage and a mighty roar went up from the crowd.

“Well, this is it, boys. The moment you’ve all been waiting for. The prize for the night, young Delilah.” They all cheered and two men dragged a kicking, screaming Jessica out onto the stage.

Adam gasped. They had her dressed in a scarlet gown.  Her face was painted to make her look like a whore and her hair was done up to maker her appear older. All the men in the room let out a yell of approval. Adam looked hard into her eyes. She was scared to death and fighting her captors all the way.

She struggled but the men that held her were too powerful. Adam couldn’t move either.

“Ain’t she a wildcat, folks. She’s just waitin’ for one of you rich gents to tame her.” Adam grimaced with disgust as they proceeded with the auction. While she struggled, Jessica peered out into the crowd, trying to find a way to escape. Then she looked down and saw him. Adam struggled and the hope fell from Jessica’s eyes as she realized he couldn’t help her.

Adam tried valiantly to break free. The men squeezed tighter and punched him in the jaw. Adam slumped against them. He couldn’t escape.

He looked up at Jessica and told her the story with his eyes. He realized he was the cause of this horrible ending to her innocence. Could she ever forgive him?

She gazed back at him as the feverish bidding began, lost in his eyes and his honesty. She knew her mother had been lying to her. There were good men in the world.

Adam was a young man who would have kept her safe and away from this kind of life. Why had she told her mother about her new found feelings for him? Her mother didn’t want Jessica to be happy. She wanted her to suffer, as she had suffered. She knew that now.

Adam mouthed calming words to her, trying to reassure her. Jessica read them through bleary eyes, shutting out all the noise around her. Was he saying that he loved her?  Yes, yes he was. He’d save her and get her away. She stopped fighting. She trusted Adam to rescue her and to get her out of this mess.

She didn’t hear the hammer fall as she was sold to the richest man in town for three thousand dollars. She smiled at Adam and he back at her, as they dragged her away to her fate.

Adam relaxed his muscles, trying to catch out the men that held him off guard. He had no gun, but every other man in the room was wearing one. It wouldn’t take much to grab one of them and make a run for the back stage.

Just as he tried to escape, the biggest man yanked him by the collar and hauled him backward towards the front entrance. Adam fought with all his might, but they pushed him out into the street and around the corner into the alley.

“Now boy, you’ll get what’s coming to ye.”

They started swinging punches and after avoiding a couple with his speed and agility, Adam was struck savagely to the jaw. He hit the ground hard, but was pulled back up quickly. Another fist launched into his gut, knocking all the wind out of his lungs.

Before he had time to recover, yet another blow was landed to his head. Adam felt dizzy and he slumped back to the ground. All he heard as he blacked out, was laughter.

Adam felt a roll of a cold cloth against his forehead as he came to. He was still lying out in the alley, but the men that had beaten him were gone. In their place was Delilah, wiping his face and tending to a cut on his temple. Tears streamed down her face and she was mumbling a strange collection of words. Then, Adam remembered Jessica and the sight of her being dragged away.

“Jess?” He looked up at Delilah and she sniveled.

“Oh, Adam, I’ve been such a bad mother. I shouldn’t have let that animal take her. But. . . but when she said she loved you, I didn’t want her to be hurt, like I was hurt. And I was drunk. I do stupid things when I’m drunk.”

“Where is she now?” Adam sat up and winced from the pain in his stomach and in his head.

“She’s in my room. But you can’t go there. He’s still with her.”

“Show me!” Adam had murder in his eyes. If Jessica was seriously hurt, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from hurting the man responsible.

“No, Adam. Go home, there’s nothing you can do now. I’ll look after her. Forget about her.”

Adam, his rage spilling over, grabbed the older woman by the arm and pulled her towards the back entrance of the brothel. “You’ll look after her? Show me where she is!”

“You really do care for her, don’t you?” Delilah looked quite ugly to him now, as she wallowed in her shame

“More than you, apparently. She’s your daughter. How could you have sold her off like that? She trusted you to take her away from this, to stop this from happening to her. What ever might have grown between us will never be now. She won’t be able to trust anyone again.”

Delilah looked down at the ground in shame and led him in to the labyrinth of rooms at the rear of the Bird Cage.  As Adam adjusted his eyes to the dingy conditions, he spotted Connie in the hallway. She swiftly looked away and disappeared down into a bedroom.

He feared the worst. The noise from the main floor echoed around the rooms. The stink of heat, sweat, whiskey and a musky smell he didn’t recognize, caused his nose to wrinkle. How could Jessica ever have survived in this environment?

“In there.”

Adam moved forward but Delilah caught his arm.

“Please, Adam, take her away. If you truly care for her, take her from this misery and me. I’ve done a terrible thing and I don’t know if she will ever forgive me, but if she has you and your family to help her, she might get over it.” Delilah vanished into the background after saying her piece.

Adam turned to the narrow doorway, slightly ajar and walked into the room. The man was gone. It was dark and hot, and there was a smell of alcohol, vomit and blood in the air. Adam knew the smell of blood from cattle. His heart was in his mouth as he approached the bed. He struck a match and lit a lantern sitting on a small set of drawers by the bed.

The covers were pulled up to the top of the worn cot.  Jessica’s body lay underneath, the only sign she was alive, was the faint trembling of the yellowish sheet that covered her. Adam steadied himself for the worst and pulled back the cover.

She was a mess. Her face was bruised and her lip was bleeding. She’d also been sick. He pulled the sheet all the way back and discovered her torn and bruised body. He gagged as he saw the pool of blood she lay in. He had to walk away and take a few breaths.

These people were worse than animals.  He felt the weight of responsibility and shame fall on his shoulders and he walked back to the bed.

“Jessica?”

“Adam?” Her voice was shaky and small. She tried to turn to look at him but cried out in pain.

“Don’t, Jess. I’ll get a doctor. You sit tight.”

“No, Adam. Get me out of here. I can’t stand it, please!” Her voice was laced with hysteria, so he did the only thing he could do. Walking into another vacant room, he striped a sheet of the bed and took it back into her.  He worked without emotion, cleaned her up as best as he could, then wrapped her in the cloth. She yelled in pain as he lifted her from the bed and carried her out to the rear of the building.

Delilah sat in the kitchen, downing a fresh bottle of whiskey. Adam looked at her with pure hatred.

“You’ll never get her back, never!” She turned to him and looked through his eyes, too drunk to even acknowledge that he was taking Jessica away.

Adam, feeling ten years older than he had two hours earlier, walked across the road to the hotel and entered The Palace. The interested clerk watched as he carried a limp bundle up the stairs and to his room.

After placing her gingerly on the bed, Adam realized she’d passed out from the pain. He left her and returned downstairs to the reception counter.

“Get me a Doctor to room twelve right away.”

“What’s happened boy, been an accident?”

Adam looked at the skepticism in the man’s eyes and decided it was not a good idea to tell him much.

“Yeah, a riding accident. Get the doctor, fast.” The man hung around, obviously waiting for a tip. Adam didn’t have any money, so he used his overflowing anger instead.

“Get him now, or you won’t be able to walk tomorrow!”

The clerk believed the threat as the young pleasant lad who’d been staying with his father turned ferocious.

“Okay boy, I won’t be long.”

Adam watched the man go then returned to his room. Jessica had regained consciousness and was crying bitterly. Adam swallowed the lump of emotion in his throat and hurried to her side.

“Stay quiet, Jess. Try not to move. The Doctor’s on his way. You’re going to be fine.”

“It was so . . .so . . .horrible. He was all over me, hurting me, hitting me. I screamed, but¾”

“Shhh, don’t. Lay back, try to sleep.” Adam smoothed her fevered brow with his fingers and was at a loss at what to do. He should have been there to save her.

Then he knew what to do. He had to fetch his father.  He’d take charge. As Adam was getting up to go and knock on his father’s door, he heard a loud voice from outside.  Adam walked to the window and looked down into the street.  Manning was standing in the middle of the road, yelling up to him.

“Cartwright. You’ve got my property up there. I don’t take to thieves in my place. You get down here now and face me in this street. That girl belongs to me, and I plan to get her back. If you want her, you have to fight me for her.”

Adam saw him reveal his gun from under his coat.  There was no doubt that Manning wanted to shoot him down in a gunfight. Adam’s temper, still boiling at the surface, compelled him to yell a reply.

“I’m coming down, Manning, and you’d better hope you’re fast, otherwise you’ll be dead.” Adam turned back to the door as the clerk and the doctor entered his room.

“Here’s the doctor, Mr. Cartwright.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure you’re looked after in the bill.” Adam turned his attention to the Doctor and beckoned him in.

“Do what you can for her.”

“What’s happened, riding accident?” The Doctor came and pulled back the covers, gasping at her condition.

“No, its called human slavery.” Adam stalked past the Doctor and reached for his brown gun belt hanging on the bedpost. He buckled it around his waist and drew the gun smoothly from the holster, methodically checking it’s load and it’s working order.

“Son, don’t do this. She’s not worth it. She’s the daughter of a common whore. This was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Adam turned to the Doctor, thunder in his dark eyes. “She’s a human being. Nobody deserves that treatment.  Nobody!” He turned and left the doctor alone with Jessica.

Ben Cartwright, fast asleep in his bed, woke to his son’s voice. It took him a minute to become orientated, forgetting that he was in Tucson, and not in his own room back on the Ponderosa.

Why could he hear Adam’s voice? Had he dreamt it?  Intuition told him to get up, dress and check on his son.  Ben felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck and he knew there was some kind of trouble brewing.

He was shocked as a minute later, in Adam’s room as he found a girl in Adam’s bed with a doctor attending to her.

“Who are you?” Ben walked over to the bed and looked from the Doctor down to the sorry body lying limply on the cot.

“I’m tending to this girl. A young man fetched me.  He’s just left. I think he’s gone down into the street for a gunfight.”

“What?” Ben turned white as he absorbed the words.

“This here girls been badly beaten and raped, and I

think that young man is about to defend her honor.”

“He’s my son.”

“Not for much longer, if he’s about to fight who I think he is. You’d better get down there, and stop him.”  The doctor looked grimly at Ben, who sprang into action and hurried down the stairs, two at a time.

Adam walked slowly out into the street. The streaky light of dawn was starting to smatter the sky, which allowed him better visibility. Across, almost to the other side of the road, Manning stood, waiting for him.

He looked up and down the street. It was mostly deserted, but he saw the two men who had beaten him earlier, standing back and to the left of Manning. He could get one of the men, but could he get three? He was about to find out, as he walked out into the early morning light.

Ben saw Adam going out, and called to him.

“Adam, no! Don’t do it, son.” Ben could only watch, as Adam was oblivious to him.

“I’m here, Manning. Ready to go. Just say when.”

“Boy, you’re being a fool. She’s a slut, a whore. She’s no good.”

Adam stayed silent, watching all three men like a hawk. Adrenaline rushed through his body. His fingers twitched near the butt of his gun. He’d never killed a man before, but he always figured there would be a first time.  Everything seemed calm and clear to him. If Manning drew, he would defend himself. He wouldn’t draw first.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, movement. Delilah ran out from the Bird Cage, screaming to Manning.

“Stop it, all of you. He’s just a boy. Don’t do this.”  She ran out to the edge of the road and Manning smiled with evilness.

Manning drew. Adam saw the flinch of his opponent’s hand and with pure reflex, had his gun drawn and fired before he blinked his own eye. Adam saw Manning fall, and turned to the other men. They’d drawn their guns and were about to fire. Adam took aim and cracked out a succession of bullets.

The two men fell, a spray of buckshot coming from another angle backing up Adam’s fire. He turned to see the black clad sheriff walking up the street, shotgun in hand.  Then, another shot rang out. Adam turned back to where Manning lay, and realized he’d shot off his gun in dying retaliation. But instead of going for Adam, he had aimed the gun at Delilah. She lay motionless on the side of the street.

Adam stood frozen, suddenly coming to terms with what just happened. He’d killed Manning, and probably one of the other two men. His fingers were molded tight to the gun butt. He was unable to move his feet. The first thing he acknowledged was the hand of his father steadying his shoulders and talking him back to reality.

“Adam, son, let go of the gun.” Ben saw the glazed look in Adam’s eyes. He had survived the fight and was going to feel the aftershocks of taking a human life, even one so worthless. Adam turned slowly to his father and began to tremble.

“I killed him, Pa. He’s dead. I . . . I . . . killed him.”

“I know, son. But in self-defense. He drew first.”  Ben took the gun from Adam’s hand, and rubbed his shoulders.

“I’ll talk to the sheriff.”

“No, Pa. This was my fight. I’m going to clear this up.”

Sounding more grown up than ever before, Ben watched the change in his boy as he finally moved and walked stiffly towards the sheriff of Tucson.
 

Hey, Adam, you okay?” Hoss was getting more and more worried about his brother, as Adam stood frozen in the middle of the street out the front of the hotel. He seemed lost in his own private thoughts. “We don’t have to go out, if you don’t want.”

Adam shook himself out of his mood and smiled at his brother. “What, and miss all the fun?” He smiled without the gesture transferring to his eyes and Hoss felt even more concerned.

“Adam, I don’t know what’s got into you, but if you’d rather just forget it, I don’t mind. I’ll still go out.  You don’t have to.”

“Hoss, I’m fine. Stop worrying. You’re worse than Pa.”  Adam slapped him on the back and strode across to the Bird Cage. Hoss followed along, a furrow growing on his temple.

Adam walked up to the front of the building and looked at the billboards. They were different of course. But in the same tradition as the ones he’d seen years earlier.

He now looked at the images differently. He was against going into saloons and paying for services from the girls in principal, due to the terrible tragedy from years before. He would occasionally give them money, if they needed help, but he would not add to their misery by taking them for a night of his own pleasure.

He knew that his friends had never understand his point of view on this, and they all assumed he just was more discreet then they.

“Hey, Adam. Come and look at this painting. She sure is a beauty. You reckon she really looks like this?” Adam approached his brother and turned to the picture he was looking at. He felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at the likeness. It was Delilah, only it couldn’t be. This was her as a young woman.

“It’s only a picture, Hoss. There’s no such person.”  Adam flinched and backed away from the powerful reminder of that dark time.

“You’re wrong, sir. This here lady is the star of our Theater. In fact, she’s also the proprietor.”

Adam turned to see which man had spoken. He was one of the ticket sellers.

“What do you mean? This woman’s name was Delilah, wasn’t it?” Adam spoke with apprehension.

“Sure, her name is Delilah.” Adam had a terrible thought.

“Wait, is Delilah her real name, or just her stage name?”

“I don’t think that’s much of your business.  Now, if you want to come in...”

“Is her name Jessica? Jessica Stanton?”

The man looked shocked, then nodded.

“My God.” Adam reeled back and looked at the painting once again. It was her. The eyes, the smile, it was Jessica! But why? How had she ended up back in this place?  He and his father had done everything possible to get her away from this life and to make sure she forgot the horror and the pain of it all. Had their efforts been in vein?

“Adam, do you know this woman?” asked Hoss.

“I’m not sure.” He turned back to the man on the door.  “Listen, is there any way I can speak to Miss Stanton privately for a few minutes?” Adam trained his intense eyes on the door manager.

“Not right now. She gives her first performance in only thirty minutes. Maybe I could arrange something after that. But she’s very choosy these days, you know. She doesn’t see just anyone.

“I’m not talking about that!” Adam spoke the words with venom. I’m an old friend. I just want to say hello.”

“You’ll have to wait until she’s done her performance, sorry.” Adam didn’t wait around for the clerk, he just swiveled and walked towards the side of the building and disappeared down the alley.

Hoss watched him, bewildered. He hoped Adam wasn’t going to get himself into trouble. Or at least if he was, he’d let Hoss know so he could help him.

Adam walked up the stairs at the rear of the Bird Cage and knocked apprehensively on the door. This was all too much like a recurring nightmare. How could Jessica have come back? How could she have reverted to this life? How could she have betrayed herself like this?”

As Adam waited for the door to open, he remembered their parting words, filled with hope and promise. She had been so determined to escape the life her mother had carved for her.
 

The sheriff cleared Adam quickly, as he’d witnessed the entire shooting and knew it was a clean fight. It appeared Manning had shot down several men over the last year or two, over similar circumstances, so the sheriff was glad to be rid of him and his henchmen. Jessica’s mother was still alive although wounded in the shoulder.

Adam felt strange inside as he watched the undertaker carry off the bodies. He had taken a life. The burden of guilt rode on his back, even though the man he had killed was trying to kill him. He felt the hand of his father upon his shoulder. As he turned, Ben smiled with a hint of worry.

“Come on, Adam, let’s go back upstairs and see how your patient is doing.”

Adam followed, his heart heavy. He’d grown up in one quick lesson, and he didn’t think he would ever see life with the same, carefree, boyish attitude ever again. He’d already been more serious and wary than other teenagers had, but this would be the point of no return for his childhood.

They re-entered Adam’s room just as the Doctor was preparing to leave.

“How is she?” Ben asked as Adam walked to the side of the bed to see for himself.

“As well as can be expected. I’ve given her something for the pain, and have cleaned all the wounds. She’ll heal all right physically.”

“How about emotionally?” Adam spoke softly from her side.

“Well, young man, that all depends. She needs a stable home and an understanding family for a while. Only time will tell how she’ll cope.”

“She doesn’t have much of a family. It was her mother that gave them permission to do this to her.”

Ben looked down at the girl with renewed sadness. For once, he wasn’t sure what he should do. He couldn’t take responsibility for her. He already had three sons and a ranch to look after.

It was obvious that Adam had feelings for her, but her rightful place at her age was still with her mother or family. Perhaps he could sort out something for the girl in the next few days.

“Doctor, her mother has been hurt in the shooting outside. Perhaps you could go see the sheriff and see what needs to be done?” Ben ushered him out of the room, leaving Adam alone with the girl.

Adam took a seat beside the bed and watched Jessica with mixed feelings. His fondness for her had been growing ever since that first night. If it was love that he was starting to experience, it was all pulled to a dreadfully quick halt now. She’d expected him to stop this atrocity.  He’d failed her.

He’d told her of a lovely world. His world was free of ugliness and worries. She’d wanted that for herself and told her mother she wanted that. He’d been wrong to bring her hopes up, to tell her of a place and an ideal that she might never get to experience.

He took the full brunt of the responsibility as he’d done all his life and silently wept at her side. He’d make this right, somehow. He’d make sure she got away from here and that no more harm would come to her. Somehow.

Ben made up his mind to clear this mess up quickly.  As he walked with the Doctor to the Sheriff’s office, he knew he had to get this girl sorted out. He knew Adam, and knew he would take the burden of her misfortune squarely on his shoulders.

But, Adam didn’t need this type of tragedy surrounding him at this stage of his life. It was enough that he suffered the loss of two mothers that he could remember and one he couldn’t. The last year had been hard on his eldest son, in more ways than one.

He certainly didn’t need the extra burden of this young girl’s fate hanging over him. Adam took things seriously and this would be no different. Ben knew he had to act swiftly and positively. The first thing to do would be to speak to Jessica’s mother and find out what she now intended to do.

Delilah was sober and mournful when Ben finally got to speak to her hours later. She regretted all the things she’d done in her life, especially over the last few days.

“What I want to know, Miss Stanton, is what you intend to do with Jessica to help her through this.” Ben sipped on a cup of coffee offered to him by the Sheriff.

“I . . .I . . .don’t know what I can do. I’ve ruined everything for her. She’ll never recover.” Delilah mopped fresh tears from her face.

“The young are resilient, Miss Stanton. If you can get out of this town, back to your own family where you have support, you might be surprised at how well she may recover.”

“Mr. Cartwright, I don’t mean no disrespect, but she’s been poisoned now, by me and just about everyone she’s ever met. She might have had a chance a year ago, or even a week ago, but not now.”

“I’m not so sure. She’s made friends with my son, and he’s a pretty positive influence on people when he’s a mind to be.”

“So I’ve noticed.” She smiled at him then winced with the pain of her facial bruising.

“What about your family? Don’t you have anyone to turn to?”

“Not for many years. My family threw me out for a little indiscretion. I became with child out of wedlock when I was only sixteen. That’s how come I ended up in this situation. I could never go back to them, ever.”

“People change, Miss Stanton. Circumstances change. I think, maybe you should contact them and see if you are right. You may be pleasantly surprised. I think you should do it for Jessica.”

“But what if they reject me.”

“Then you are no worse off than you are now. If you need some money, I could arrange for you to travel to a new town, to start fresh.”

“Why are you doing this, Mr. Cartwright? Why should you be so interested?”

“It’s to my benefit that your daughter go back to a stable life. You see my son is very loyal. He won’t leave if he thinks she’s still in danger. It’s not to my liking that he takes on a responsibility of a young girl’s future at his age. Do you understand what I’m saying?” Ben looked at the woman intently.

“Yes, yes, I think I do understand. And you’re right.  I must do things for her now, not for myself. I’ve been selfish and cruel.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You had very little choice.”

“I don’t know. I’m quite a wealthy woman now you know.  Now that Manning is dead, I can get my rightful money. The sheriff told me that.”

“Good.”

Ben left after a while, so as she could think about her future. He walked slowly back to the hotel, wondering how Adam was going to come out of this. His son was in the parlor as he walked into the hotel.

He looked sullen and very much alone. Ben sighed.  Over the past twelve months, Adam had retreated into himself more and more. He’d not shared his grief for Marie with anyone, nor his hopes and dreams about going to college.

Ben decided there and then that he needed to let Adam go back east. He was a complex boy, one who needed mental stimulation and challenges to hold his interest for life.  Ben didn’t want to deny him that by needing him at the Ponderosa. He didn’t want to loose him, so he would let him go.

He walked over to the chair in which Adam sat and crouched down to his eye level.

“Adam, how is she?”

“She’s sleeping.” He turned troubled eyes to his father. He had been clearly wrestling with his conscious about her plight.

“Adam, this is a part of life I didn’t particularly wish you to witness, but as you have, I want you to know that even though we try our best sometimes, we can’t make the world better for everyone. Some people have to suffer, it seems. All we can do is try to improve things just a little as they pass through our lives. It’s going to be like that for Jessica and you.”

“You mean, you won’t take her back with us?” Adam knew the answer, but asked it anyway.

“I can’t Adam. She has to work things out with her mother. I’ll assist them any way I can, but I truly think they have to work it out together. Delilah is deciding what to do right now. I’m sure she’ll do what’s best for them both and go back east to their family.”

“But her family threw her out.”

“Even so, she can start a new life, away from all this. Jessica’s young. She’ll bounce back. She now knows there is a better life out there. I know you’ve told her there is. She’ll trust in you, Adam.”

Adam was tired. Too tired to argue with his father.  He slumped back on the chair and willed the day to end.  Ben noticed his weariness and caught his arm firmly.

“Come on, let’s get you some sleep.”

Adam followed him up the stairs and to Ben’s room.  Adam crawled onto the bed and was soon asleep. Ben watched him for a while, then went next door to check on Jessica.  She was tossing and turning, and occasionally crying out in her sleep. He sat beside her, and leaned his head on his hand. He would make sure she got a fair deal, for his son’s sake.

Delilah decided to take Jessica back east anyway, even without contacting her family first. She wanted to start fresh, and to give her daughter every opportunity of recovery. She discussed with Ben at length whether she and Adam should correspond by letter, and they saw no reason why not.

By the end of the week, they had agreed to come and stay on the Ponderosa for several weeks the following summer. By that time, Adam would be preparing to go to college in the fall. They would both be older and more mature about their decisions and paths in life.

Ben kept Adam busy, and although he spent time with Jessica in the evenings, he stuck to his tasks with his father. Ben took that as a good sign. Adam too, deep down knew that the best thing for Jessica was to leave Tucson and try to repair the relationship with her mother.

When Adam and Jessica talked, they talked about things that didn’t touch the reality of their situation. The Ponderosa, Adam’s brothers, books they’d read.

They avoided discussing the one thing that was constantly on each other’s minds. The thought that they didn’t want to leave each other. They never spoke of their feelings. Perhaps because it was all too impossible, and if they admitted anything more than friendship, it would bring everything crashing down.

Adam didn’t want to destroy the hope of her visiting one day and the two of them growing close.

Jessica didn’t want to destroy the cocoon of safety Adam provided her with. She wanted to be near him and confide in him, but she couldn’t bring herself to reach out and touch him. Not now, perhaps not ever again. The attack she suffered scared her beyond reason. So they sat, and talked, and never took it further.

The day came for Jessica and Delilah to leave. Adam and Ben had stayed back an extra week to ensure they got away all right. There was a lot Adam wanted to say to Jessica, but somehow, nothing came out. He simply helped her onto the stage and waved as they left in a cloud of pale dust. Ben put his hand on his son’s shoulder and said but one sentence.

“Let’s go home, boy.”
 

Adam came back to reality as the door opened for him.  A girl, not much older than Jessica would have been all those years ago smiled at him from behind the opening.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“I want to see Jessica Stanton.”

“I’m afraid she’s working right now.”

“I only wanted to see her for a minute. I’m an old friend.”

“Yeah, sure.” The girl giggled.

“No, really. Just mention my name to her. Adam Cartwright. If she doesn’t want to see me, then I’ll go.”  He waited for the girl to react, but she just stood there, staring at him.

“Please, will you tell her?” He retrieved his wallet from his back pocket and pealed off a couple of notes for her.

She smiled when he held them out and retreated into the building to deliver the message.

Adam blew out a deep breath as he waited. He didn’t want to think about why she was back here or what had happened to her after she went back east. He also had to admit that he was nervous of seeing her again. Would she remember him? Would she blame him for anything that happened? How would she have changed? Maybe she would now be like her mother had been, bitter and full of regrets.

Just then, the girl came back to the door and opened it wide for him.

“She’ll see you.” The girl had a puzzled look on her face and she studied Adam more closely as he past her.  Adam looked at the surroundings. The inside of the building had vastly improved since last he was here. The interior had been brightened up with new paint and furniture. It smelled a lot better as well. But the unavoidable odors of drink and sweat still seeped through the walls to some degree.

Adam approached the door of the room he’d opened twelve years ago to discover Jessica lying crumpled and broken in her mother’s bed. He couldn’t believe she was here, working and staying in this room. He knocked with hesitation. It was a minute before the door opened.

There she stood, a goddess of beauty. Long waves of honey blonde hair hung low around her shoulders. Her lovely hazel eyes were shining. Her skin was soft and pale, her shapely figure covered by a robe hiding her costume.

Adam removed his hat and stood his ground. Her loveliness took him by surprise, as did the intense feelings that coursed through his body at her presence.  Neither of them spoke for a moment. He struggled to come to terms with seeing her again after all these years.

Jessica felt numb as she absorbed the sight of him.  Many a night over the last twelve years, she’d thought of him. She’d wondered what might have happened if things had been different.

Only teenagers when they’d tasted the first tender twinges of love that they barely recognized, she’d wanted so much to be with him then. Everything went horribly wrong for her after she’d left Tucson, but it didn’t mean she’d forgotten Adam and his caring, tender friendship.

Now, he was here, after twelve long years of wondering. He was a man now who would probably have been through many life experiences and maybe even a wife or two. She ran her eyes over his impossibly handsome face and his strong, powerful body.

He wore a superbly tailored black suit, with a black gun belt slung low on his hips. He exuded confidence and control. Jessica felt her nerves falter as he moved smoothly into the room. Her throat was dry as he approached her. She had a flashback to that night in the shed. The way his mouth had merged with hers. The way his arms made her feel so safe.

With all the men she’d been with over the years, she’d never come close to feeling as safe or as special as he’d made her feel that night. She waited for his voice. She wanted to hear it’s rich vibrant tones. She was not disappointed.

“Hello, Jessica. I couldn’t believe it was you out on that billboard. I just had to see for myself.” His voice was even deeper and richer now. His dark hazel eyes studied her intently. Perhaps he was wondering if she was real, or just a figment of his imagination.

“Hello, Adam.” She couldn’t find the right words. She wanted to tell him how she’d missed him. She wanted to explain why she’d never written or visited. She wanted him to know that she’d thought of him often over the years. But she said nothing.

Adam, not at all sure of his feelings, had the overwhelming urge to kiss her. He hadn’t planned to. He didn’t know what his intentions were going to be until he stood in front of her, looking into her eyes. He moved forward. She didn’t back away. He reached his hand to her blonde tresses and stroked the silken strands.

“Adam.” She looked up, willing him to move to her.  Reading her thoughts, he slid his arms around her body and pulled her close. The sweet scent of her perfume and the softness of her flesh against his surrounded him.

He lowered his lips to hers, taking them slowly but commandingly. She leaned into him, returning his kiss with a passion he couldn’t mistake.

No longer children, the feelings that surfaced inside them were very different to those they had experienced before. Now, they both carried the burden of past encounters and mistakes in their own love lives. Scars and regrets smattered their feelings as they took the time to rediscover a hint of simple pleasure. A pleasure they had once been close to finding in its purest form. Adam was brought back to reality by a sharp rap on the door.

The yell of ‘five minutes’ snapped Jessica out of a trance she didn’t wish to recover from. Reeling from the kiss, she tore her mouth away from his and pulled back from his embrace. Neither of them spoke. They were both wallowing in memories and a heady sexual attraction. Adam took her lead and moved to the left, clearing a path for her to the door.

“You’d better be going. Can’t keep the public waiting.” His voice held a hint of sarcasm, she thought.  There wasn’t time to think or to feel. She would have to talk to him later. Wouldn’t she? Maybe it was better if this was all she had. She could get into emotional trouble very quickly with this man. She knew that right away.

“Thank you for calling, Adam. Maybe we can do this again in another twelve years.” She smiled coldly at him, doing her best to hide her true feelings and floated serenely toward the door.

Adam watched her leave, letting out a deep breath he’d been holding in. He wouldn’t return. She was different. Cold. But still beautiful. He wiped her kiss from his mouth with the back of his hand. He’d better get out of Tucson fast. Otherwise, he’d be in her bed, at her mercy. Of that he was certain.

Hoss sipped slowly on his beer as he waited for Adam to reappear. He stayed towards the rear of the theater so as not to miss him when he returned. Hoss worried about Adam more often than he would ever admit. His older brother carried a lot of burdens in his soul and Hoss had a feeling that something had triggered off one of them tonight.

The building was like no other he’d ever seen. The special velvet swathed balconies above, known as the Cages, fascinated Hoss. He always held a respect for women and although he enjoyed their dancing and singing, he never took advantage of a woman who had to give favors to men for money. He was almost sure that Adam never indulged in that practice, either. His big brother had enough women admirers without having to resort to cat houses.

Hoss felt sorry for the women but he refused to add to their plight. He was in the minority unfortunately, as the main hall was packed. As he watched, the house lights went down and a cheer went up. Hoss looked to the stage, wondering just what type of entertainment was going to be on offer.

The vision that came to him from the stage was beauty.  Hoss watched entranced as the lovely woman from the billboard outside wove a web of magic like he had never seen. The crowd was quiet as they too were put under her spell. She danced with veils and feathers, showing very little of her body, but driving the men in the room to distraction with glimpses of flesh and gestures of innocent seduction that appeared to be aimed at every man personally.

Hoss felt uncomfortable. This woman had the touch of a seductress. Any man falling under her spell would be in trouble. She would take them in and take them down. There was no tenderness in her eyes, no love. She was only for show. Hoss was not deceived. He wondered if Adam had been deceived in the past. He sincerely hoped not. She wouldn’t be easy to get out of your blood.

Her dance finished with a burst of applause and whistles. Hoss rose from his seat and decided to go looking for his brother. He suddenly had the notion that they had to leave this town. Adam would be heading for trouble if he got tangled up with her. That was for certain.

Hoss took a breath of the fresh air as he stepped out into the street. He looked to the left and to the right.  No sign of Adam, he paced back and forth for a while. He worried where Adam had gone, and what was happening with him.

He was about to go back to the hotel, when he spotted a dark figure standing several stores away, under a lantern post. Hoss knew it was Adam. He could see the outline of his torso, standing in that pensive way he had. He was troubled, nothing surer. Hoss walked slowly up the street, hoping he would be able to help.

“Adam?  You okay?”

“Hoss, I’m sorry. I missed the show. I’m just not in the mood tonight.” Adam stood stiffly with his arms crossed and his face tense.

“Hey, that’s okay. It didn’t really appeal to me anyhow. No singin’.”

Adam smiled with dry humor as he listened to Hoss. He wouldn’t be taken in by her appearance. Hoss could see through falseness. He always was a good judge of character.  Maybe he should go back to the hotel and forget all about her. It would be the safest thing to do.

“You wanna go someplace else?”

“No, I think I’ll have an early night. You go.” Adam glanced at Hoss would was studying him intently.

“Adam, you wanna talk about that gal you know?”

Adam swallowed, unsure of his own feelings on the subject. Hoss was astute and had gotten right to the heart of his conflict.

“No, Hoss. It’s all right. She’s just, well, someone I knew as a friend many years ago. But she’s changed. And not for the better, I’m afraid.”

Hoss sighed with relief. At least Adam knew what kind of woman she was. He wasn’t going to be fooled that easily.

“Well, I’m no expert, but you mind you don’t go getting in too deep. She’s the kind you’ll always remember and always regret.” With that, Hoss slapped his big brother fondly on the back and retreated to the hotel.

Adam smiled. How did Hoss always manage to see things and explain things so simply and clearly? Adam never seemed to handle things in his mind quite that way. Everything had to be tossed about, churned and worried over.

After several minutes, he made a decision and walked with conviction back to the hotel. He was not going to see her.  He would pack up and leave with his brother in the morning.
 

Jessica paced back and forth in her room for a long time after the last show ended. She’d received several offers from men tonight, but none of them held any appeal for her. She rarely gave favors anymore, preferring to let the girls she employed do the work, while she danced and ran the business.

She was good at the business and had been very successful. She’d gladly given up entertaining men. That part of it she had never enjoyed. It was always like a penance. Every time she had been with a man, she’d forced herself to stand it.

Ever since that initial introduction she had received to sex, she hated it. Perhaps that was why she’d been so successful at it. She could easily detach herself from any feeling. She’d never fallen for any man.

She could act, and pretend and make them feel important and powerful. When all the time, she was imprisoned inside her frozen heart. She’d become a lot like her mother, only, she’d been careful not to fall in love.  Except with Adam.

And she’d always argued that she hadn’t loved him either. Not only had they not been lovers in the physical sense, they’d never openly declared it to one another. She might have believed she loved him for a while, but her feelings had died after returning to a cold, isolated home in Alabama.

Besides, how could love count sex as one of its main advantages? She hated sex and everything to do with it. It was only good for making money. The emotion of mental love soon faded, so there was nothing else to sustain you.

This wild impulse she had now to go to Adam and test his skill, was only morbid curiosity. She certainly didn’t want to be with him. She never wanted to be with anybody.  And so she paced up and down, trying to rid herself of the unfamiliar cravings tugging at her fevered flesh.

Adam lay stretched out on the double bed in his room.  The air was thick and oppressive much like it had been when he’d stayed in this room before. He pushed his bare arms up and over his head, opening the shutters wider, trying to make the most out of a weak breeze that occasionally drifted in.

He thought about Jessica. Her beauty was beguiling but

her heart was cold. He’d realized that straight away. Hoss knew it and he would have only seen her from afar. Adam might have been tempted to indulge in a night of sheer pleasure, had he thought he could forget her and move on. But he’d never been good at loving and leaving. He felt things too deeply for that.

He’d often wondered about her over the years. She would’ve made a wonderful companion and wife if she’d escaped from the atrocities of the Bird Cage lifestyle.  But she hadn’t and there was nothing he could do about that now.

He turned onto his side and wondered if the Theater was still open. He couldn’t get the taste of her lips off his mind. It was only physical desire; he didn’t love her anymore. She was no longer the person he had admired.  She was changed forever.

Giving up on going to sleep, he swung his bare legs over the edge of the bed and looked out the window and down into the street. The activity had well and truly died. The doors to the Bird Cage were still open, but only a few lingerers staggered out of the opening. Had one of those men been with her?

Adam calmed the rising conflict in his head. It was ridiculous to show any type of jealousy after all these years. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and reached for his trousers. He couldn’t sleep. Perhaps a walk around the town would settle his desire.

Jessica opened the back door to the Bird Cage and walked down the stairs. She felt like a stroll through the streets. The moon was full, lighting her way. She’d never gotten out of the habit of wandering at night, although now she carried a gun for protection.

As she walked through the back streets, she remembered her nights with Adam. They had enjoyed each other’s company. Talking about everything and nothing. He would tell her about his ranch and she would talk about the town and it’s wild side. She smiled to herself, remembering their innocent discussions.

Soon, she found herself out on the edge of town, near boot hill. A distant Coyote howled at the moon, adding a morbid feel to the graveyard. She froze for a second as she saw movement amongst the larger headstones. Drawing her gun, she stepped behind a large angel figure.

“I remember this was your favorite poem.”

The deep voice startled her. Adam! She lowered her weapon and approached his silhouette.

“Which one?” She sidled up to him and strained to read the words on the flat headstone.

“Yet he be silenced in this world, he be celebrated in the heavens above. Let us not grief for him, but rejoice for his fortune after escaping the sufferings of this world to which we are still chained.”

Adam read the tribute, then looked across to Jessica.  His blood quickened at her closeness. She wore a cape, which he longed to pull away from her face.

“I used to feel like that. As if I were chained.” She turned to him and smiled sadly.

“And what about now?” He lifted a hand and removed the hood of her cloak from her head.

“Now? Now I just exist. I no longer have feelings one way or the other.”

“Do you have feelings at all?” Adam touched her fingers with his, drawing her palm up to his lips.

“No. I’m dead inside, Adam. And unless you are too, nothing can happen between us.”

It was a plain statement, as truthful as she could tell it. But as Adam kissed the translucent skin at her wrist, he realized he had to find out more. She twitched ever so slightly at his touch.

“Tell me what happened, when you went back to Louisiana.” He rubbed her fingers between his, noting the rising heat in her palms. “Tell me why you never wrote me.”

“Mother tried to correct our lives. She stayed true to her plan for a few weeks. Her family were nice enough, but never really close. We stayed pretty well isolated from the world and from them.

“I thought about you often, but just as I felt ready to write and let you know of our progress, Ma started drinking again. She brought home men out of boredom. I was still having nightmares but she offered no support.  Instead, she offered me to the men that came around. A couple of them took me. It was horrible.”

Adam squeezed her hand and lowered his head. If he’d known that would happen, he never would have allowed her to go back east. Jessica continued.

“So, feeling weak and betrayed, I ran away. I drifted, from town to town, and then, when the money I had ran out, I just gave in and sold myself. It was the only way I could survive. The worst was over.”

“You couldn’t turned to me for help.”

“Yes, I knew I could, but I chose not to. I guess I was too ashamed that I’d failed.”

Adam winced at the monotone explanation. If only he had done more for her. If only she’d returned to the ranch with him and Ben.

As if reading his mind, she continued.

“Don’t ever feel at all responsible for my life and what happened, Adam. Everything was carved in stone before you ever came along. It’s a fact of life with a lot of women. You just happened to know me. That’s all.” She smiled and moved a little closer to his torso, finding the warmth it radiated comforting.

“I could have done more.”

“No, you couldn’t. You were still a child. So was I. Now, lets walk.” She took his arm and led him through the maze of graves, showing him the new additions.

An hour later, they found themselves walking back through the deserted streets of Tucson. It was getting on toward sunrise. Adam stopped outside the doors to the Palace Hotel. He knew he was going to leave that day, but he still wanted to be with her a little longer. After talking with her, he saw glimpses of her former self, still underneath the dark layers.

“Goodbye, Jess.” He turned to her and smoothed the soft skin of her cheek with his finger.

“Goodbye, Adam.”

She knew he was going to kiss her, and the anticipation that coursed through her body was overwhelming. As earlier in the night, they melted together with a strong mutual longing. Jessica, surprised by her own response, worked her fingers along the roughened surface of his cheek as her other hand found heat in the steady rise and fall of his chest.

Opening her mouth to him, she shivered when his tongue advanced inside. Meeting his fire, she moved against him, more and more amazed at her body’s reactions. She knew for once, she wanted to be with a man. With Adam, she might unlock some of the secrets she had missed out on over the years, the mystery of love. But would it hurt more than it helped?

All of a sudden, she didn’t care. As he pulled her body against him with raw desire, she made her decision.  For once, she was going to allow a man to make love to her, instead of the other way around.

She wrenched away from him and relayed her desire for him through her eyes. His pupils were glazed and dilated.  He had no choice either. Together, they entered the hotel and went up the stairs to the first floor.

There was nothing said, as Adam opened the door, led her in and dragged her back into his arms. She went willingly, tugging at his coat. He would be magnificent beneath his black guise. She never normally noticed a man’s body. But she would notice his.

Adam held her against him with one hand, and with the other, he untied the bow that held her cape in place. He took her mouth hungrily. He was caught in her sweetness and her desire to have him.

Jessica had never been so stimulated by the touch of a man’s hands. After removing the cloak, he slowly caressed the skin of her bare arms. Jessica forgot her pretences and sighed with real longing. The buttons of his shirt parted under her roaming fingers, allowing her access to his firmly muscled chest. Adam took a sharp breath as she touched his heated flesh.

Tangled together with raw desire, they both moved to the bed. Adam lost himself in fevered passion. He had no conscious knowledge of what he was doing, whether it was right or wrong. All he wanted was Jess, once and completely.

Jessica indulged in the new surprising sensations of real passion. This was not like anything she had experienced. This was something more, something special.  She longed to rub her naked body along his and pulled distractedly at her clothes.

Both half undressed, they sank down on the bed.  Tossing and rolling in a fevered state, the two urgently allowed one another a free rein. Jessica, her fingers sliding and roving, gasped and moaned at each new discovery she made about his body.

Adam uncovered the secrets of her flesh, as he kissed her aggressively all the way down to the swell of her breasts. The cool chill of dawn did nothing to quell the heat in the room. She pushed him back against the sheets, trying to take command.

Adam closed his eyes when she touched her tongue and lips to the hollow in his throat. A cool, sensual movement that lingered and toyed with his senses. He wished he were a boy again, untouched by the kiss of death or the prickly fingers of tragedy. She brought back memories of his youth and his innocence, when he’d wanted for so little and believed in the world so much.

Adam opened his eyes. He watched her as she moved down his body. With alluring appeal she smiled up at him. But, suddenly, he saw her clearly for the first time that night.

A flicker of a memory passed through his mind. The memory of her terrified and vacant eyes as he had carried her from that horribly soiled bed. Her responses to him seemed genuine, but how could they be? If he took her now, how would that change her life, or his? For him, it would be a torment.

He didn’t give his feelings easily, or his trust.  Could he make love to her and simply turn away? Could she learn to love after all this time? She’d been badly scared.

If he softened her heart in the process, would she be able to adapt to a new life with him, and only him? She’d been with many men. Could he handle that unchangeable fact about her?

Could she ever even feel anything for him except a fleeting notion of love? She had admitted to him she was dead inside. Adam was not so confident in his ability to be able to change her feelings. He lay his head down as she came up to him with soothing tones.

Jessica saw his doubts surface. She knew he was rethinking his decision. But she wanted him. She wanted to know if she still had any love in her. If he didn’t allow love her, it would be selfish of him. Was he toying with her emotions like all the others?

Yes, of course he was. He was a man, wasn’t he? All his noble talk would mean he wouldn’t want a woman like her forever. He’d just want to have sex with her, like all the others. He might have loved her once before she’d been ruined, but not now.

A cruel twist of anger bubbled up deep from the bottom of her soul. Suddenly, she wanted him to suffer, just as she had suffered.

He could have stopped the rape, couldn't he? He could have taken her away and given her everything. He had finally lit the wick that burned towards her emotions, both good and evil, and they were about to show themselves. The anger, the terror, the pain and the humiliation, all began to mount inside her mind.

Adam noticed the change in her. She was turning into the woman he’d seen in the Bird Cage again. He pulled away and sat her upright.

“Jessica. We can’t do this. I can’t do this to you, or to myself.” Adam pushed her aside and rolled across to the other side of the bed. He stood up and refastened his belt that she’d been unbuckling.

“Adam?” She was taken by surprise. It was she who wanted to be in command. No man left her bed. She left there’s.

“There’s no future in this for either of us. It would be an empty moment between a man and a woman that’s all. For a while I thought there was a chance, but I don’t think we can go back.” Adam turned his back to her and crossed his arms.

Jessica took a minute to comprehend his rejection.  She calmly straightened her clothing and got up from the bed. Walking around the furniture to him, she smiled again in that way she had. Adam looked at her beautiful features and sighed. “This is for the best, Jessica. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, Adam, I understand. I understand only too well. You don’t want a woman like me to upset the balance in your life. It was different before I was a whore, but afterwards, well, that’s a different story, isn’t it?”

“Jess, it’s not like that, and you know it. It’s just that we can’t change what happened and we can’t go back.”  Adam had a notion to take her back into his arms. He was still very much aroused and was tempted to change his mind again.

“No, we can’t go back, can we? That’s something I learned too. Buried away with my mother out in Louisiana all those months. Hoping something inside me would change and forget the pain. But nothing did change. Mother never let me forget.

All I could remember was you at the stage, smiling at me, telling me everything was going to be all right. And was it? No, you failed me. You promised to help me, but you didn’t. Not really.”

Adam’s concern increased. Was she finally snapping after all these years? All the built up anger and agony was starting to pour out.

“I couldn’t do anything to stop it.”

“Couldn’t you? I think you could. You could have tried harder.” A hint of madness flickered in her hazel eyes, and she reached for her cape.

Adam sighed. She’d walk out of his life forever. It was for the best. She seemed very mixed up now. He couldn’t take responsibility for every choice she had made. He turned to the window, not wanting to see her leave.

“Get down on the bed.”

Adam didn’t register her demand at first.

“I said, get down on the bed!”

He turned this time, and his blood ran cold. She had her gun pointed straight at his gut.

“Jessica! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Let’s say I’d like to regain my dignity.”

“This is crazy. If you kill me, it will prove nothing.”

“Get down on the bed.” She cocked the gun and shoved it close to his bare midriff. Adam saw the madness in her eyes and had to obey. The sunlight streamed in now, and Adam wondered if Hoss was up. His door wasn’t locked. If only he could alert him somehow.

She needed help. She’d become her mother. The strain of her life was taking its toll. “Jess, I can help you. I can get you help.”

“Ha! After the last help you gave me? I don’t wish to take a thing from you, Adam Cartwright, except for your life.” She sauntered around the bed and pushed him down flat on it with the gun barrel. Adam’s limbs became tense as she maneuvered the steel over his torso.

“Such a beautiful specimen of a man. I suppose you

have a string of whores?”

Adam frowned. Where was this coming from? “Jessica, let me help you.”

“No!” she screamed. “Enough talk.” She screeched at the top of her voice and held the gun low to his abdomen. “I’m going to blow that perfect body of yours clean apart.  That will satisfy me, nothing else!”

Adam swallowed hard, while trying to work out how to escape her wrath.

Then, in a split second, the door flung open and Hoss hurtled into the room. His gun was drawn. Jessica turned and dropped hers in surprise.

“Grab her, Hoss. She’s mad.”

Hoss, startled by the situation, seized her firmly around the wrists and pinned her down. Adam, a little shaken, got up and collected the firearm from the floor.

“Well, big brother. I thought I was going to have to rescue you from something, but not this.” Hoss shook his head and sighed.

Adam took in her broken and sobbing appearance and swore softly. “Me neither, little brother.  Me neither.”
 

Adam reined his horse in and stared back at Tucson with regret. Hoss watched him carefully; worried that he might ride right back there and take that girl out of the institution they’d put her in to.

She was indeed going mad, and nothing any of the Doctors said pacified Adam. He’d wanted to care for her himself at first, but Hoss had talked him round eventually.

“Adam, you wanna take some time on your own? I’ll ride on aways if you like.”

His brothers troubled dark eyes continued to look out to the buildings in the horizon.

“No, Hoss. I’ve spent enough time alone. Let’s get back to that other brother of ours and worry about him for a while. He’s sure to need us round about now.”

Adam smiled, and pushed the memory of Jessica back into the tiny corner of his heart that she had always occupied and always would.

Hoss smiled with relief and led the way home.